


The Cruelest Company and the Kindest

by Markov_Debris



Series: Company Series [16]
Category: Torchwood
Genre: Angst, Consequences Anthology: Kaleidoscope, Episode: s02e04 Meat, F/M, M/M, Past Torture, Spoilers for Series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-04
Updated: 2017-11-05
Packaged: 2019-01-29 07:43:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 30,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12626361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Markov_Debris/pseuds/Markov_Debris
Summary: Rhys is about to have another brush with Torchwood.  The consequences of his discovery, and Gwen’s final words in the year that never was, are about to hit Jack and Ianto.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I hope that you enjoy my take on the event around Meat.

A month before the General Election, Gwen Cooper entered the Hub wearing a smile that could have lit up Cardiff for a month and a diamond ring.  She excitedly told them all about Rhys proposing to her the previous night.

She was happy and enthusiastic for what seemed like the first time since Jack left.  Gwen was also completely oblivious to the sadness her joy seemed to cause the others.

Owen made an effort to be cheerful for her and not be too surly or cynical.  It was the new him trying not to let anyone realise that he was thinking of Katie, not that any one them, except possibly Ianto, knew about his late Fiancé.

He felt no jealousy as an ex-lover.  In Jack’s absence their friendship had cemented where their sexual relationship had divided them.  To Owen, being with Rhys was what was best for Gwen, the only person worse for her, he felt, was Jack.

Toshiko was polite and seemed delighted for Gwen at first.  Later though she let her glance stray to Owen and once again squashed her feelings for him,

It was a foolish dream but Owen was never going to really notice her, let alone propose.  Her brief time under the influence of an alien device making her feel sexy and confident only made her more depressed now.

That woman hadn’t been her.  Sure Owen would fancy the ideal Toshiko he had made, but she was just herself now and not what he was interested in.

She pulled herself away from such thoughts to look for the last member of their team.  Ianto had congratulated Gwen and disappeared into the archives.  They had been unable to find him when the ex-PC had wanted to take them out for a celebration lunch, so they had had to leave him behind.

At the end of the day though, a little alarm alerted Toshiko to Ianto’s location.  She had set it up since Jack left because she had been worried about the Welshman.

Alone, Toshiko made her way to the basement of the Hub, to the room that once held a Cyber Conversion Unit and the half converted remains of Lisa Hallett.

Ianto was sitting on the floor looking at the spot where her body finally died.  He let his eyes flicker to Tosh as she sat down beside him.

“I was going to ask her to marry me,” Ianto said quietly not needing to expand more.

“She would have said yes,” Toshiko replied taking his hand.

There was no need for her to give him any platitudes about finding someone else.  Considering her long standing crush on Owen, she understood perfectly that Ianto felt that his one second chance at love had buggered off with a Time Lord,

Toshiko also understood why Gwen’s wedding plans would remind him more painfully of Lisa than Jack.  The Captain wasn’t exactly marriage material.

The only context you could think of associating Jack Harkness with wedding dresses would be if you had a kink for him wearing one while you shagged him or vice versa.

As Ianto stared at the spot where Lisa died, the Welshman felt glad that Jack was gone for the only time in his life, even if he regretted the feeling too.  He knew that if Jack had been there, Gwen would never have said yes to Rhys.

It wasn’t that Jack would have objected to the marriage but who would want plain, loyal, lovable Rhys when there was the dashing Jack Harkness in the picture clouding you judgement.

Who would want dull boring Wales and a quiet uninteresting archivist when you could have a Time Lord and the whole universe of space and time to explore?

As if sensing the maudlin turn of his thoughts, Tosh squeezed his hand.  Ianto rose to his feet with her and followed her back to her new apartment.

After chocolate ice cream, white wine and a few historical romance films they went to bed, the irony was not lost of either that the first man to sleep in Tosh’s new bed was just a friend.

Since the night they had gotten back from the Beacons and shared Tosh’s bed with Jack, both of them had an unspoken agreement.  Unlike the Archivist’s special friendship with Jack, there was no question of sex in this friendship, but Tosh and Ianto knew that when they didn’t want to be alone they could at least be together.

* * *

Four months later when the Master ruled the earth Gwen Cooper and Owen Harper were dragged before Captain Jack Harkness.  They had been captured, brought aboard the Valiant and were now about to die.

The Master asked them both if the had any last words.  Gwen Cooper looked at the man chained in front of her and, as always, she spoke from the heart.

Jack held her words close to him.  Clung to them in the painful dark when he didn’t want to remember a different, beautiful, Welsh face that had healed the deepest wounds within him.

When Ianto Jones died, her words stopped having meaning to him, Jack’s own lies in his head revealed themselves.  When the immortal had a vision of the Welshman telling him to keep hold of hope, seeing a sign that he should, Gwen Cooper’s last words helped him live again.

* * *

 

A few days after the General Election, on the night of Jack’s return to Torchwood the immortal’s mind was still confused.

Gwen’s last words and his past relationship with Ianto warred within him as he looked at them.  His feelings conflicting as he tried to remember what was true, and what were the lies he told himself to protect his sanity.

Then he discovered an engagement ring on her finger and Jack Harkness felt betrayed.  He had to remind himself that this wasn’t the woman who had spoken to him on the Valiant.  That she had only said what she said because it was really her last chance, a last chance this Gwen wasn’t going to have.

It was a betrayal that helped Jack realise what was important, realise the muddle his tortured mind had been allowed to get into.

Yet that betrayal was the one thing he didn’t tell Ianto as he spoke of his time on the valiant.  He knew it would hurt the Welshman, but like all secrets it would come back to haunt them at an unexpected time.


	2. Chapter One

“We’ve got to shut the operation down, neutralise whoever’s done this,” Jack said entering full hero mode and ignoring Gwen’s phone as it beeped. “And identify the alien meat.  Tosh you can co-ordinate.”

“I have to slip home and check on Rhys first,” Gwen said without apology.

“Good idea.  Find out how much he knows,” Jack said with a mouth full of pizza.

“That’s not what I meant,” Gwen replied and headed for the door.

Jack glanced at Toshiko and Owen, one was wearing a slightly bewildered face and the other amusement.  Before he could then turn to Ianto, the Welshman had already moved away.

 _Okay so today while playing Captain Action for a moment I became Mr. Insensitive.  I’m at work, trying to figure out what’s up with the meat, I’m work focused,_ Jack thought, reassuring himself that the incident meant nothing.

_Of course to Gwen it was natural for Rhys to be more important than Torchwood business.  Especially as this isn’t an end of the world case.  She should be thinking of the welfare of the man she loves, that’s why I hired her._

Jack’s thoughts drew his eyes to Ianto who hadn’t moved that far away.

 _A man wearing a napkin as a bib to protect his tie from a pizza he’s too careful to spill shouldn’t be that cute._ Yet the sight made affection flood through Jack and he send a dazzling smile the Welshman’s way, coupled with the intent gaze it made Ianto blush a little.

Jack had had very few fussy, neat or tidy lovers.  They either proved to be too rigid for his tastes or found him to chaotic for theirs.

With Ianto it was different.  The tidiness and organisation skills were like his suits and workface, another layer in the barriers hiding the man within.

Such passion and sexuality he was better in bed than John Hart, such compassion and tenderness that he was a greater man sometimes than the Doctor, because at least Ianto wasn’t afraid to care, to love.

It really wasn’t a good idea for Jack to mix personal and work thoughts.  Not when his main man was so hot and open to trying some of his kinks.

Right now the immortal was fantasising about Ianto lying naked on the boardroom table while Jack ate pizza off of him.  Licking that pale skin clean of tomato sauce and following it with hot come for desert.

A tiny movement alerted Jack to Ianto’s raise eyebrow and concerned expression.  The Captain realised that his eyes had been flickering between the Welshman’s face and his disappearing pizza for some time now.

Carefully Ianto cleaned his fingers and picked up a slice of pizza from the box without removing any of the toppings.  He lifted it up to Jack’s mouth where it was accepted with an obscene moan.

“Oh god please,” Owen grumbled startling Ianto who blushed again.

Jack took the slice of pizza, brushing the fingers of the Welshman’s hand.  Their eyes met as he said, “Thank you Ianto,” with his mouth half full.

“You’re welcome,” Ianto replied quietly receiving another groan from Owen.  The Welshman moved away ignoring the pizza box.

Jack took that as a signal to get back to work.

“Owen, Ianto when you’ve finished your pizza head out to the warehouse and begin scouting around.  I’ll wait for Gwen and follow in the SUV, Toshiko…”

“I’ll co-ordinate everything from here,” she replied smiling brightly at him.

“Good,” Jack said.

The Captain glanced across to where Ianto had begun to prepare for the mission.  Jack crossed over to where the Welshman was deep in thought.

“What are you thinking about?” Jack asked.

“I was wondering what would happen to a sheep if it ever fell through the Rift,” Ianto answered.

“A sheep, really?”

“Yes, I mean what are the chances of it finding something it could eat?  Would a new diet change its colour?”

“What would an alien species make of it?  Would they try and communicate?  Would they just kill it and eat it or would they dissect it, or would it end up in an alien zoo as a curiosity for the rest of its life?

“What if there wasn’t a sentient population on that planet?  What effect would a sheep have on the ecosystem?”

“That’s a lot of enquiries about the welfare of sheep,” Jack said mildly amused.  “You’re not extending your fondness for my coat to other woolly things?  You’re not going to ask me to wear a sheepskin rug and ‘baar’ while you take me from behind are you?”

“No I am not, so don’t even think about getting any sheep related sex toys,” Ianto replied hotly.

Ianto didn’t look at him and Jack felt a pang of disappointment.  When the Welshman turned back to him, his eyes were serious.

“Until we see what kind of alien creature it is we are dealing with, a lost sheep on an alien world was the closest comparison I could come up with for this situation.

“Cos that is what we’re dealing with isn’t it?  A giant alien sheep?” Ianto asked worried.

Dinner suddenly didn’t sit so well with Jack.  Ianto was thinking of the time he almost became dish of the day, a fate the young man would wish on no sentient species.

“Yeah I’m sure they’re probably just the giant alien version of a sheep, a whole herd given the amount of meat we recovered,” Jack said with a reassuring smile.

Ianto nodded but didn’t go back for more pizza.  The immortal wasn’t sure he was convinced either.


	3. Chapter Three

By the time Ianto and Owen left Jack had firmly convinced himself that the Welshman was right that this was just an alien animal they were dealing with.  Yet that comfort didn’t make him feel much better.

Jack felt a surge of affection for Ianto.  Inside that business like persona, was a man who cared for other living creatures in a way that didn’t always sit comfortably with his chosen life.

The Weevils and other prisoners were given the best care that was possible.  Myfanwy too was attended to better than if her welfare was left to one of the others.

Ianto even had occasional moments of vegetarianism, moments often brought on by worry or nerves it was true, where he couldn’t bear to eat something that had once been alive.

Jack admired that greatly even if there was nothing he could do about it.  It did also raise the question of what they were going to do with their giant alien sheep when they found it.

It had to be taken out of the population’s diet.  When Ianto wondered about the effects to an alien ecosystem of an earth sheep would have, he didn’t consider the effect on an alien species consumption would have.

Owen’s test results gave Jack hope that the effect would be minimal.  It looked unlikely that it was going to make anyone sick, he just hope the different nutrients it provided wouldn’t do any long term damage.

“Jack, Gwen’s coming back,” Toshiko called out.

“I’m on my way up,” Jack replied heading for the invisible lift.

As he rose Jack’s mind turned to the other potential problem, Rhys.  Hopefully, despite her insistence, Gwen would have done some interrogating, established his guilt or innocence.

He saw her walking towards him as he rose into the Plass.  Jack stepped off the invisible lift just as Gwen reached him.

“Like I thought he had no idea what’s going on,” Gwen reported with an air of ‘I told you so’.

Jack hadn’t expected any different answer.  When he hired Gwen he had done a full security check and that included her boyfriend.

Rhys Williams was just your average Welshman.  Jack trusted Gwen’s judgement when it came to his character, as well as Ianto’s own security assessment of the man.

The sort of dodgy dealings involved in distributing alien meat was not Rhys’ style.  Jack also doubted he had the character to get involved with this kind of illegality.

“Would you care to accompany me to the slaughter house?” Jack asked with a faux English accent and offering her his arm.

She smiled and took it as they walked towards the SUV.

“Have you ever eaten alien meat?” Gwen asked curious.

“Yeah,” Jack replied automatically.

“What was it like?”

“He seemed to enjoy it,” Jack replied with a smile that widened as it took her a moment to realise what he’d said.

“You’re rough,” Gwen said with laughter in her voice.

“Different planets have different livestock animals which they eat.  Some are compatible with humans and some aren’t,” Jack replied seriously.

“So Owen is right the meat is safe to eat,” Gwen stated echoing his own thoughts earlier.

“In small quantities, yes it probably won’t do any harm.  Human beings are adaptable though.  If they are allowed to adapt to having this alien meat in their diet and it is suddenly taken away there could be consequences,” Jack replied.

“So it’s best that we stop this now,” Gwen replied.

They got in the SUV and headed toward Merthyr.  Gwen continued to question him about the different meats he had eaten.

To Jack though they were not as alien as they were to Gwen, that’s why he was happy to eat the meat on the pizza until his conversation with Ianto about sheep.

Jack felt a pang of concern for her.  Gwen was focussing on the effects the meat was having on humanity, she found eating an alien creatures squeamish, in the same way as some people in this century might find the thought of eating frogs legs, snails or locusts repulsive.

She wasn’t thinking about the creature’s welfare.  It held as much concern for her as the average sheep, complete detachment until it was served up on her plate.

Ianto might only be an occasional vegetarian but he still sometimes thought about the welfare of the animals he was eating.  When buying for himself he always selected free range.

Jack had no idea what he was going to do with the alien creature when he found it but he knew he couldn’t kill it.  Ianto was going to hate having another pet to look after but this one was his own fault.

He smiled imagining the Welshman complaining, yet he knew Ianto would do it.  He couldn’t imagine any of the others looking after an alien creature.

He glanced at Gwen who was thinking about her next question regarding future eating habits, and tried not to sigh as he concentrated again on the road.

 


	4. Chapter Three

“Ianto, Owen we’re just on our way in. How are things looking at the slaughterhouse?  Are you in position?” Jack asked over the comms.

“Yes it’s all quiet here.  There’s a deserted access road to the side you won’t get noticed, I’ll direct you in,” Ianto answered making Jack’s smile lift as the SUV neared the warehouse.

“Ianto nearly there,” Jack said.

“Take the second turning, park on the left.  No one will see the car there,” Ianto replied.  “There’s a main entrance at the front it’s the only one open.  The rest are padlocked and alarmed.”

“How many are there?”

“Difficult to tell there are no windows,” Owen responded.

“I’ve got a blueprint of the warehouse, the stock has to be in the central area,” Toshiko stated over the radio, “Having fun?”

“Don’t know what you’re missing,” Ianto answered making Jack smile.

It looked cold and wet out there with a lot of mud around.  Not Ianto’s sort of location at all; although he would make a hot mud wrestler.

“According to the sensor, there is a heat signature across the entire building.”

“That’s a lot of meat,” Gwen commented.

Her phone rang.  She barely looked at it and didn’t make any apology as she blocked the call.

“You two take the sides, Gwen and I will go in the front.    We don’t want any casualties, we stungun whoever’s in there and put a stop to what they’re doing.  Let’s go,” Jack ordered and they got out of the car together.

As they moved around the building towards the entrance Jack saw movement.

“There’s someone there,” Jack said and tried to steer them into cover.

“It’s Rhys, It’s…” Gwen said stunned.  “What’s he doing?”

“He must be in on it,” Jack replied feeling as much disbelief as the ex-PC was as a car pulled up and Rhys turned to meet them.

“No never,” Gwen replied vehemently after a pause.

“How else do you explain that?” He asked her angrily.  “Ianto, Owen stand down, repeat stand down.”

“He told me he didn’t know what was going on.  He wouldn’t lie to me,” hurt poured out of Gwen’s voice.

“He also said he didn’t know where they were based but he did,” Jack said glaring at her.

“There’s something wrong, there has to be,” Gwen panicked and began to move towards the entrance.

Jack immediately saw the danger and grabbed her.

“Gwen.  No.”

She tried to get free of his grasp and he pushed her up against the wall with all his weight.  Using his strength to keep her in place.

“No,” he repeated and he could feel the struggle lessening.

He looked down at her and realised it wasn’t his judgement she was yielding to but his body.  Jack tried to ignore the fact that there was more than just anger and worry in her eyes.

“I just have to get him out,” she said quietly.

“What by charging in there?” Jack demanded angry.  “What then?  You going to knock him out?  You can’t go in there.”

This had to stop.  She worked for Torchwood and while she worked for him she had to do what he said, trust his experience.  She couldn’t go in there, it would only put Rhys’ life in danger.

Angry as he was that Gwen was so easily deceived, Jack couldn’t help a flicker of pleasure.  The dumb fiancé had finally done something unexpected and it was putting their relationship in jeopardy.

Only Jack didn’t want it in jeopardy.  Having a home life was part of Gwen’s humanity.  If she lost that, lost Rhys, then she would become as corrupt and dark as the rest of them.

There would only be Ianto then, a quiet voice said, that saw the common sense and reason of their strange world.  A quiet voice, which unlike Gwen’s, didn’t always speak out unafraid.

This was not going to end well.  Jack didn’t have a clue what was going to happen next but he knew it wouldn’t end well. 

_What if something happened to Rhys?  I can’t watch her wail in agony over his body again._

_No, nothing will happen to him.  If he’s in on it then he should be fine, he still doesn’t know about us, he can’t tell them we’re a threat waiting._

_We can’t go now.  If things turn bad, if anything happens to Rhys, Gwen will lose it.  Better to wait and then grill him for what he knows, she’s angry enough to get the information we need._

Jack stared into her eyes intently.  Gwen was leaning into his body and yet she thinking of Rhys.  The conflict flickered in her eyes and he couldn’t tell what reasoning made her look away and acknowledge he was right.

“You have to do as I say,” Jack told her then pushed himself away feeling slightly disgusted.  “We wait until he comes out.”

Jack felt slightly ashamed of himself.  It had felt good leaning into her, even though he had felt so angry.

Her last words on the Valiant came back to him for the first time since Ianto told him that they were boyfriends.  Not since then had he felt the conflicted mix of desire and hurt betrayal Gwen inspired.

He stood eyeing her in a broody silence hoping that she wouldn’t do anything stupid.  When it came to Rhys she didn’t always think, and that could put them all in danger.

It also made this case a hell of a lot more complicated than it had been this morning.

 


	5. Chapter Four

Owen’s eyes alternated from looking around him to glancing at Ianto.  The Archivist had the same look of concerned boredom on his face.

Neither knew what on earth they were doing there.  They had come to raid the slaughterhouse, stun bad guys and find out what sort of alien creatures they were dealing with and sort out the situation.

Just as they had been about to enter though, Jack ordered them to stand down without a word of explanation.  Now they were left them waiting outside in the cold until they received their next order.

After half an hour the two of them had began to exchange a conversation of looks and eyebrow waggling.  Silently they debated which one of them should break radio silence and find out what was going on.

Just as Owen was about to give in, Jack’s voice came over the radio telling them abruptly to return to the Hub.  Another glance confirmed that neither of them wanted to find out what it was all about as Jack sounded like he was in a foul mood.

They walked in silence back to where Owen’s car was parked.  The medic took off at speed.

“What was that all about?” Owen asked half to himself.

“Maybe Jack saw someone or something that he recognised.  If it was a device maybe they were watching to see how it was being used before he decided we need to regroup.

“If it was someone we were probably waiting for them to leave so that Jack can find them and grill them about what’s going on,” Ianto replied.

“What if it was Rhys?” Owen suggested with a smirk that widened as he glanced at Ianto’s aghast face.

“What?  We know his haulage company is involved.  What if he’s the one masterminding the transport of dodgy meat,” the medic added with relish.

“Don’t say that.  If Gwen found out he’d lied to her she would be devastated,” Ianto admonished.

“It would be bloody hypocritical if she did.  It isn’t as though she doesn’t lie to Rhys all the time,” Owen retorted.

“She can’t tell Rhys about Torchwood.  Apart from the regulations, his knowing could put him and us in danger,” Ianto said reasonably.

“What about her fling with me?  She doesn’t have to mention Torchwood to tell him she had an affair with a co-worker but I bet she hasn’t,” Owen informed him nastily but Ianto didn’t answer.

“You don’t approve do you,” the medic stated and again was answered with silence.

“Come off it what about...” The glimpse of Ianto’s basilisk stare froze Owen’s words.  The only thing colder was the Welshman’s voice.

“Yours and Gwen’s personal choices are your own business just as my personal choices are my business.  It’s only when they affect our work that they become Torchwood business.”

“And your personal choices don’t affect Torchwood business?” Owen asked sarcastically.

“No.”

What’s turned Owen’s blood cold was the fact that he believed the Welshman.

He hadn’t any desire to examine his boss’s relationship with the tea boy too closely, but he was fairly sure that Ianto wasn’t considered by either to just be one of the Captain’s perks.

That meant the Welshman either still didn’t feel his life was worth as much as the others, that the job was more important or that he didn’t think he deserved any special treatment just because he was sleeping with the boss.

To be fair the latter was plausible.  Aside from the occasional bit of flirtation, disappearances into the Hubs more mysterious corners and the fact that Jack watched Ianto more than the others, it was as if their relationship didn’t exist while they worked.

Only interoffice relationships didn’t work that way, even one as cold as his relationship with Susie, although Owen believed that one actually improved their work.

After the first attraction, flirtation and sexual liaison, Owen and Susie had come to an unspoken understanding.  There was no small talk let alone pillow talk and no post-coital relaxation unless they were both too exhausted from the day to move.

Their relationship had been about having hard sex.  It was the need for physical release without the trouble of finding someone for the night.

It was the kind of relationship Susie had once accused Jack of hiring Ianto for.  Their relationship petered out after that because Owen felt bored of her and slightly used, her death hadn’t mean as much to him as it probably should have.

Gwen was almost completely the opposite.  There was passion in it for one and she needed to talk, needed to vent her thoughts and feelings about her experiences to someone.  As Torchwood regulations prevented her from turning to Rhys, Owen had been the willing ear and body she turned to.

If Owen didn’t know about Jack’s obsession with Torchwood secrecy, he would almost have accused the immortal of doing it deliberately, hire someone with outside ties then cut half of them off with the cloak and dagger.

Jack had taken a Little Miss Nice Girl with a boyfriend, humanity and morals and plunged here in a world with no black and whites, only greys.  There were no absolutes in Torchwood only ambiguities of the day.

Then there was the adrenaline rush, excitement of fear it was more addictive than Ianto’s coffee and the Welshman, so far, was the only one resisting its effects.  He could get swept up in the moment, good old flight or flight responses, but he didn’t seek the thrill of danger like the rest of them.

By the time they encountered the cannibals Gwen was ripe for an office affair.  If it hadn’t been for the incident with the fairies she would have turned to Jack.

The immortal probably could have turned her around so that she was ready to be his loyal and faithful bedfellow before they went to the Beacons, but he hadn’t.  Perhaps Jack had already had a better offer.

This thought made Owen glance at his silent companion and then shake his head.  That stupid conversation about the last snog was proof enough that the Welshman was still grieving then.

Even Owen, self-absorbed as he could be, noticed the hollow shell of a man who brought them coffee then, knew that Ianto cut himself off from the world whenever he was emotionally hurt.  Jack might have dubious morals, but he even he wouldn’t have pushed someone so raw and unready.

No Ianto didn’t seem to awaken until after he went off with Jack on a field training exercise that left Gwen in charge.  Perhaps that’s where things started between them, in the isolation of survival training.

Owen glanced at the Welshman again.  He had gotten out his PDA and was busy working as the medic drove.

It was easy to believe Ianto when he said that his personal choices didn’t effect Torchwood business.  Like Tosh the Welshman was always professional.

You could only tell how things were going for him by how warm or frosty he was.  Whether he made amusing, sarcastic comments or if he was working himself unnecessarily to exhaustion.

The effect on Jack was in some ways both more subtle and more obvious.  It was subtle in the way that the immortals bonhomie seemed more genuine since his return.  It was obvious in the way that all it seemed to take some days was a cup of coffee and a smile from the Welshman to make one of Jack’s dark moods change.  He did not become all sweetness and light, but at least he became bearable for more than 2 minutes.

As Owen pulled up behind the SUV, he couldn’t help remembering the abruptness of Jack’s last conversation and thinking that the immortal could probably do with one of Ianto’s coffees and a smile.

They watched at Gwen got out of the SUV and headed straight for her car.  Owen couldn’t help giving Ianto an ‘I told you so’ look as there was only one reason he could think of for her to leave.

The Welshman groaned quietly but otherwise ignored him as he got out of the car and headed after Jack.

 


	6. Chapter Five

Ianto was worried as he followed their silent leader into the Hub.  The fact that Owen might be right was not helping his sense of dread.

“What happened out there?” Toshiko demanded with obvious worry.  “You all seemed set and then you call it off and returned without a word.”

“Rhys showed up.  We waited to make sure he got out okay and then we left.  Gwen’s gone home to find him and find out what he knows.

“Don’t worry when she’s finished she’ll Retcon him and we can get on with our mission.  Nothing to worry about,” Jack said almost trying to convince himself.

Ianto wasn’t alone in seeing that there was lots to worry about.  However, he could also see Jack didn’t want a debate so he sent the others warning glances.

“I’ll go and do some more digging into Harris and Harris while we wait,” Tosh said and returned to her computer.

“I’ll check my latest tests on them meat and maybe run a few more,” Owen added and headed towards autopsy.

“I’ll go make some coffee,” Ianto stated as Jack began to walk back to his office.

Ianto had to prevent himself from hitting the coffee machine out of pure frustration.  “Nothing to worry about indeed,” he muttered under his breath.

Retcon, it seemed to be Jack’s solution for every inconvenience.  Witnesses who’ve seen too much, people who learnt too much, all soon found gaps in their memories.

This was simple for Jack too he supposed.  Rhys knows about dodgy meat, find out what and then prevent him from remembering that he ever visited the grey side, that he lied to Gwen.

Only Gwen would know.

Gwen, like Jack, was one of those confident, attractive, people who exude charm and always seemed to get their way.  It always seemed to come as a blow to them when things didn’t go their way, or they discovered they had been deceived.

Ianto unconsciously ran his fingers through his hair.  He was remembering rough hands holding it, pointing a gun to his forehead and the mixture of anger and hurt in Jack’s eyes as he told him about Lisa.

He doubted Gwen would be as extreme as Jack had been then, although the Captain had the excuse that the fate of the world was at stake.  She could be that angry at her fiancé though.

Ianto had the advantage over Rhys of knowing what he had done and being able to earn forgiveness.  If Gwen got her information and used Retcon then she could still be angry and her fiancé wouldn’t have a clue why.

Suddenly he felt all cold.  _What if they had Retconned me?_

“What’s wrong?” Jack’s voice in his ear made Ianto jump.

His back hit Jack’s chest and his lover’s arms came around him unexpectedly to steady him, then didn’t bother letting got.  The warmth felt wonderful and Ianto couldn’t help leaning back.

“Nothing happened out there did it?  It’s just that you’ve been staring at the coffee machine for twenty minutes,” Jack said softly.

“It was just cold,” Ianto answered, disconcerted that he’s been caught staring into space for so long.

“So what deep thoughts were keeping you from coffee?” he asked.

“Does it ever frighten you that Retcon has become such an easy solution?” Ianto asked.  “I know we have to keep what we do a secret,” he added sensing the protest on Jack’s lips.

“I know that population at large isn’t ready for aliens.  That it could change their view of the world and not always for the better.  I know we have to maintain our secrecy or we could be in danger.  I know there are those who would blame us because we’re the only ones available, I understand that.”

“So what is this about Ianto?  You don’t think Gwen should Retcon Rhys?” Jack asked and the Welshman didn’t answer.

“Ianto,” he said turning the unhappy Welshman to fix him with a stare.

“I was thinking about what might have happened if, after Lisa, you Retconned me but kept me as your archivist.  Just made me forget her and Canary Wharf.

“Would I have been happier or would I still have felt grief and not know why?  Would you all have pretended everything was fine?  Or would you all have still been angry with me and I wouldn’t know why?

“And us?  Would we have the relationship we do?  If we did what might happed if I found out you’d taken some of my memories?” Ianto asked quietly looking away.

“I didn’t Retcon you Ianto and this thing with Rhys isn’t the same thing.  Gwen is going to talk to him find out what is going on and there will be a perfectly reasonable explanation for why he lied.

“He was probably doing it to get some extra money to pay for the wedding.  He didn’t want to tell her because it would spoil the surprise and because it’s a bit dodgy.  That’s all,” Jack told him firmly.

Ianto sighed and nodded.  Jack stroked his fingers down Ianto’s jaw and lifted his head.  The Welshman wasn’t quite prepared for finding the immortal’s lips on his but he accepted them.

“Stop having such scary thoughts,” Jack said gently, though his eyes betrayed the fact that Ianto’s worries about himself frightened the immortal.

“I’ll try Jack, I’m sorry for worrying.  I’d better finish your coffee,” he said with a smile.  The Captain smiled back reassured.

The immortal gave him another kiss before heading back to his office.  Ianto sighed with relief, he wasn’t sure what he’d do if he didn’t have Jack to talk to.

Then flamed with guilt as he realised he’d lied to Owen.  That conversation was definitely more with his lover than his boss.


	7. Chapter Six

Jack’s journey back to the Hub hadn’t been as silent as Ianto and Owen’s had.  It had been filled with the sounds of an angry Welshwoman going on about this all being a mistake, and what she was going to do to Rhys when she got home.

If he hadn’t already been furious over his mixed feelings for her, the journey to the Hub made if infinitely worse.  It was only the quiet moments as he travelled into the base that prevented him from biting Toshiko’s head off when she demanded to know what happened.

Jack seethed as he stalked into his office.  He was glad that the others hadn’t questioned him but just gone off to do something useful.

Five minutes later he wanted to know where the hell his coffee was.  It wasn’t the beverage that was important as much as the suited Welshman who delivered it.

Against Gwen’s fiery noise Ianto was a soothing balm of silent calm.  Right then Jack needed that.

He went to see what was delaying the Welshman and saw him staring into space.  Ianto wasn’t prone to bouts of daydreaming but he was a deep methodical thinker.

After watching him for a little while, Jack went over to him wondering what it was that he’d done wrong.

That didn’t stop him from sneaking up behind Ianto though.  He enjoyed making the Welshman jump and was pleased that Ianto made no attempt to resist his arms around him.

In the few moments they stood there, Jack felt the calm he desired wash over him.  Then he felt guilty, because he knew Ianto wouldn’t have allowed this moment if he hadn’t been very worried about something.

Then when he heard Ianto’s concerns about Retconning Rhys he filled with fear.  He wasn’t sure what reassurance he gave, anything to stop the Welshman thinking of those what ifs.

The truth was Jack had never considered erasing only part of Ianto’s memory.  Executing him yes, but erase his memories of Lisa never, Ianto had needed to atone and those memories were part of what kept him fighting.

It made Jack feel cold inside thinking about how close he’d come to killing Ianto that night.  How close he had come to snuffing out the life of a man that meant so much to him, a man whose deep thoughts he cherished not just because of their wisdom, reassurance and healing, but because of the confidence and trust in him that they implied.

The first kiss as much as the words had been enough to tell him that Ianto was reassured.  With the second kiss Jack felt himself relax a little more.

As he walked back to his office he replayed his own words to Ianto.  He found them as comforting as the Welshman had, but decided to have a word with Gwen when she got back just to be certain.

No sooner had he reached his office but the phone began to ring.  It was his wandering Welshwoman but her news was not good.

“You’re doing what?” Jack shouted loud enough for the others to hear.

“Calm down Jack.  I had to tell him what we do, he saw us at the crash sight and he followed us to the slaughterhouse, he knows I lied to him before and now he wants proof that I’m telling the truth,” she answered reasonably.

“Gwen this is a top secret facility for a reason,” Jack snarled.

“I know that, he won’t tell anyone.  Look he’s been inside that warehouse, he says he knows of a way to get us in but he isn’t going to say anything without proof of what we do,” Gwen replied defensively.

“Fine but while he’s here he’s your responsibility,” he said slamming the phone down, he hated having guests, especially domestic guests.

He went to his office door and arrived just as Ianto appeared with his coffee.

“Listen up,” Jack called and paused for both Toshiko and Owen’s heads to appear.  “Gwen’s bringing Rhys in.  Apparently he has intel we’ll find useful but won’t say anything without proof she’s on the level.”

“Of course he won’t he’s Welsh, you know how stubborn they can be,” Owen said looking at Ianto with a crooked smile.

“You might as well all stand down, I doubt we will get around to raiding the warehouse again tonight,” Jack said defeated.

He turned to Ianto who was stood there holding his coffee, face shining with concern.

“Thank you,” Jack said angrier than he intended as he took his coffee.  He tried to soften it with a smile, which Ianto returned weakly, then ruined it by slamming his door behind him.

_Why can they never just obey orders?  She was just meant to go home and find out what Rhys knows and Retcon him, not invite him back for a guided tour._

_On the plus side at least we only have to erase a days worth of memory not months._

_It is necessary,_ Jack told himself and knew Ianto’s words had gotten to him.  Yet there was truth in what the Welshman said about people not being able to handle reality, aliens.

_Even if he can handle all this he can’t stay.  There’s no vacancy and what use to us is a man in haulage?_

_What use to us was a butler?_   The thought came unbidden as he went to sip his coffee.  Ianto however was so much more than just a butler.

_Besides it isn’t as though Gwen would let him stay.  She’d want him to be as far away from us as possibly, where he’s safe._

Suddenly the coffee smelt wrong and the room felt claustrophobic.  He slammed down the mug and headed for the door, just missing Ianto as he headed to the couches where the other waited.

Jack headed to the second floor.  He glanced down at the others all drinking and talking happily.

For the first time since he returned it had occurred to Jack that Ianto wasn’t just the Hub’s caretaker and archivist anymore.  He was going out on field missions like he had today, his life was in danger.

If he cared about Ianto at all he would take him out of the field, have him stay behind but even as he considered it, Jack knew that he couldn’t.

He stared down at Ianto as he leaned against a wall, beer in hand.  As though sensing his gaze the Welshman turned to look at him then looked away and said something to the others.

If he grounded Ianto, he wouldn’t think it was concern for his safety, not without the answers to some questions that Jack wasn’t ready to have asked.  The Welshman would wonder what it was he’d done wrong and try to prove himself twice as hard.

It was dangerous out there and ironically it was the youngest member of the team that understood that the best.  After all he had already survived being at the heart of a disaster, one that had changed him.

Although Jack hadn’t tested those waters yet, before he left there had been something of a fanatic about Ianto.  Not the adrenaline fuelled rush the others were addicted to, but he had always put the planet and its people before his own life, his own happiness, as though they were nothing in comparison.

If Ianto suspected Jack’s feelings for him were clouding his judgement, then he might call a halt to their relationship.  Jack had no doubts about Ianto’s feelings for him but he was Torchwood; that meant he was supposed to protect Earth first, if he couldn’t do that because of Ianto…

For a few moments Jack felt bereft.  He looked again towards where the Welshman sat and again the Archivist looked up at him.

The young man might use the stealth approach to breaking them up, make the immortal think it was all his idea, but right now the possibility was terrifying.  It might have been months since Jack’s return but he wasn’t ready to be alone, to be without Ianto to rely on.

Jack had to risk Ianto’s life in order to keep him by his side.  Deep inside there was a part of him that always wanted the Welshman beside him, while in danger as much as in the bedroom.

Before his thoughts could plunge him deeper into fear, he heard the invisible lift activate.  He let fear turn to simmering anger as he went to greet his guest.


	8. Chapter Seven

Toshiko felt glad when she heard the invisible lift activate.  The silence had become a bit much once Owen shot down their conversation.

Since the incident with Diane, Tosh had rather gone off the idea of dating Owen.  While it proved he was capable of love, it also seemed to highlight that she wasn’t his type.

She wasn’t a spirited woman who was driven by her feelings.  She wasn’t an adventuress or a street smart ex-cop or anything thrilling like that.

She was a quiet, conscientious geek and that was where she did the most good.  Those other women may have had passion, but Toshiko Sato saved the world from her computer every day.

It just didn’t get her a man like Owen.

Toshiko watched Ianto move forward until he was in sync with Jack, just a few paces behind him.  She couldn’t help noticing how in tune they were as they moved.

She was grateful to her friend for his silence as Owen crushed her hopes once more.  Of all of them Ianto was the only one not sad and single, he was with someone who knew about Torchwood.

He had started the topic of conversation for a reason she could see it that, and didn’t mock her for how it turned out.  Didn’t give her a look that pointed out how obvious she was being while Owen was being so blind.

As the lift neared Toshiko moved closer and looked up at the man Gwen had betrayed to have Owen.  He was attractive she supposed, if you preferred brawn over brains.

“Captain Jack Harkness, thanks for dropping by Rhys,” Jack said in his friendliest voice.

“This is the rest of the team.  Owen and Toshiko, Ianto,” Gwen said waving at each of them in turn.

_Poor Ianto always seemed to be an afterthought with her, despite him being closer than Owen and me._

“Pleased to meet you,” Rhys replied politely.

“Welcome to our headquarters,” Jack said grinning.

“It’s a bit bigger than mine,” Rhys replied.

It was a lame joke but he, Jack and Gwen all laughed.  Nervous tension hummed in the air between them and the immoral turned to look at Ianto.

Toshiko was sure the Welshman gave a small smile because Jack seemed to relax a little.  Calming people was an ability Ianto had that she envied, but was grateful for.

“So Gwen tells me you catch aliens,” Rhys stated half casually as he looked at Jack.

“That’s right,” the immortal said nodding.

“There’s a rift in space and time that runs through Cardiff Rhys, and stuff slips through from other timelines and planets and it’s our job to monitor it,” Owen said from one of the gangways.

Toshiko couldn’t resist looking up at him and grading his speech.  It covered all the essentials but sounded a little rehearsed.

For a moment she wondered how many times he’d used that time to pick up women in bars.  Then Tosh remembered it was an adaptation of one of Jack’s speeches; and wondered how may future Torchwood agents he would use that speech on.

“Are you sure they’re not some kind of weird cult?” Rhys asked his fiancé.

“You saw that alien in the warehouse go on,” Gwen ordered with a nudge to his shoulder.

Tosh suddenly liked Rhys a little more.  He was an ordinary bloke, he didn’t belong in their world, but he was trying.

Rhys Williams was normality, he was safety and comfort, someone to go home to.  But he wasn’t as dashing and dangerous as either Owen or Jack, he didn’t have that attraction that Gwen seemed to crave.

“What did you see?” Jack asked gently.

“Er it was like this huge shapeless beast filling the space.  Like a mound of flesh,” Rhys answered slightly nervously.

“So it’s one massive entity as opposed to several organisms?” Toshiko asked and the Welshman nodded with a shrug.

“Latest tests revealed high levels of chloride so it probably lived in the water.  I reckon it came though the rift into the sea and it’s beached itself,” Owen stated completely business.

“Like a giant alien manatee,” Jack said sadly.

“But how did they get it there?” Ianto asked stepping forward for the first time.  “That warehouse must be 50 meters long.”

Toshiko felt a wave of pride for her practical friend.

“Urm, maybe it was smaller when they found it because they say it’s still growing,” Rhys answered.

“It’s not dead?” Jack demanded.

“No its breathing,” Rhys replied sincerely.  “Its eye opened.”

“So the protein chains are regenerating despite the mutilation, so not only is it replenishing its own flesh but its increased it, giving them a brand new meat supply,” Owen summed up.

“It’ll last them for years then,” Gwen stated.

“If we could understand how it worked we could feed the world,” Toshiko felt the excitement of a new project.

“We could release a single,” Ianto deadpanned.

It wasn’t a cruel, mocking joke, it was a warning.  It wasn’t until Jack spoke that she understood its meaning.

“Before we get ahead of ourselves we’re talking about dodgy pies in Merthyr okay?” Jack interrupted seriously.

“And the fact that they’re cutting it up alive, which we could have put a stop to already if it wasn’t for you,” Jack added angrily, and Toshiko felt slightly sick.

It was so easy to see this as an interesting new science project.  Feeding the world was important but there was a price.

For a moment she was in room lined with plastic and her hands were being tied behind her back.  The stench of death and blood hung in the air.

The sight of Ianto’s face as it was revealed from its bag.  His muted cry as the blade of the cleaver lowered towards his neck.

“Jack,” Gwen warned bringing Tosh back from the past, making her realise she had missed part of the argument.

“All you did tonight was mess things up.  Now we have to think of a way in and thanks to you they’ll have tightened security,” Jack shouted ignoring the way Gwen’s arms were waving.

He sounded really angry.  She wondered if he too was remembering the village in the Brecon Beacons and their lives being in the balance.

“Well if you stopped and asked me exactly what I saw in there instead of showing off around the place,” Rhys retorted.

“Do I show off,” Jack turned and asked Ianto which surprised Tosh.

“Just a bit,” Ianto replied in a way that none of the others could have ever gotten away with.

“You’d know,” Rhys continued ignoring the little exchange, “that I got out by telling them I wanted a job as a delivery boy.  So rather than cock things up, I’ve found you a way to get in.  But if you can’t handle that big boy then you could stuff it.”

Rhys had gotten right into Jack’s face.  Toshiko was impressed, not even Owen dared do this kind of stand off when the Captain was in an angry mood.

“This is quite homoerotic,” Jack told Gwen seriously and the startled look on Rhys’s face almost made Tosh smile.

“No no no no Jack,” Gwen said and Toshiko realised that she didn’t know about Rhys’ plan to be a delivery boy.

“He is not getting us in,” she stated

“Team meeting, you to,” Jack ordered pointing at Rhys.  He then turned away heading for the board room.

“Jack,” Gwen called out following second only to Ianto.

Toshiko followed a little apprehensively.  It was obvious that Jack was angry and now Gwen was getting ready for a fight.

As she drew level with Owen, Toshiko looked at him and he smiled at her.  Despite his unintentionally hurtful words earlier, his smile still made her feel better.

Toshiko watched the others retreating backs.  Ianto as ever was a silent presence, just walking a few steps being Jack.

Yet somehow, Tosh was certain Jack knew he was there.  He might not be saying anything, but the Archivist’s support was evident in the way the Captain was calming down as they walked.

_It would be nice to have that.  To have someone else to rely on.  The last two times I tried, one turned out to be an alien with a telepathic pendant and the other I had to send back into the past, to his death._

_Yet both times felt so good.  I was happy and I felt like I didn’t have to be the geek, like I could be a woman._

She was about to think that Owen would never see her that way, then wondered why not?  Just because they lived in an adrenaline fuelled madness didn’t mean that they couldn’t occasionally do things normally.

Tosh knew for a fact that Jack had even asked Ianto out on a date.  Okay she had no evidence that he’d actually taken the Welshman out but he’d still asked, Jack who was more aloof than Owen.

It was a thought that made her smile a little, until they reached the boardroom where it was time to put on her business face.

 


	9. Chapter Eight

Ianto Jones watched Jack’s arse as it stalked away towards the boardroom.  He suspected that the sight would be the only pleasure he would get for quite a while.

Anger and tension added a little something to his walk.  It radiated power and clenched the butt cheeks, dark blue and shadows were definitely the colours to clothe Jack’s angry arse in as it moved.

Calling a team conference was a sensible thing to do but it was a delaying tactic.  Gwen didn’t want Rhys on the mission, Ianto understood her concerns perfectly, but that didn’t mean they could dismiss the idea out of hand.

As the entered the board room Jack went straight for his chair and Ianto went straight for his coffee machine.  He had noticed that everyone, especially the Captain seemed more relaxed during meetings with a coffee.

Toshiko had left a file with all the information in ready on the conference table.  She thought they were going to have this meeting earlier after Jack aborted the mission.

She got everything out and put up the profile of the Harris brothers on the screen.  As Rhys entered she beckoned him over.

Ianto listened as he made the coffees while Tosh encouraged Rhys to tell them about the people who were running the operation.  They were obviously just some blokes with low moral standards when it came to animals and high levels of greed.

The coffees were delivered as Rhys was going through what he said and what he saw earlier.  Ianto didn’t bother stopping his eyes wandering from Jack to Gwen to see their reactions.

“That’s where the thing is, that’s the sedatives room, that’s where they hang and pack all the meat,” Rhys said finally going through the layout of the warehouse using Tosh’s blueprints.

“That’s good to know,” Owen said quietly.

“Yeah, that’s good to know but he’s not driving us in,” Gwen said firmly turning to Jack.

She had listened encouragingly while he went through his story and gave them all the details but she hadn’t sat down.  Rhys’ staying behind was one thing she was unmoved on.

“They’re expecting me,” Rhys replied waving his hands while in his pockets.  “You lot can hide in the back of the van.”

“What is this Scooby do?” Gwen demanded disparagingly.  “Absolutely no way is he getting involved.”

“Oh where was I when you decided to get involved?  Did you give me a second thought?” Rhys shouted back at her.

“Oh joy a domestic,” Owen said sarcastically.

While they argued Ianto tried not to look at Jack.  It was a straight choice between increasing the success of the mission and keeping Gwen happy by choosing a less encouraging plan.

“Rhys is right he’s our best way of getting in.  Stun guns only,” Jack stated firmly.

“We’ve handled bigger than this.  Why don’t we just storm in guns in the air and arrest them?” Owen asked attempting to get back on topic and stop the row that Gwen was set to launch.

“Those aren’t organised criminals.  If we go in guns blazing they’ll kill the evidence and run,” Jack said.

“I wasn’t suggesting blazing just waving,” Owen pointed out hurt.

“The last thing we need is a bloodbath,” Jack said trying to remind the medic that while they had a guest it was best to play nice, especially as guns were the last thing Gwen would want near Rhys.

“Point taken,” Owen conceded.

“I know that…” Gwen began and Jack stood up interrupting her.

“Once Rhys had loaded up he can clear.  You don’t have to come.  You can stand down,” Jack started while pointing his finger at her.

“It might be better,” Toshiko added trying to be reasonable.

“You love him,” Jack told Gwen, looking at her while pointing at Rhys.  Then he turned, paused and glanced at Rhys, avoiding looking at Ianto beside him.  “Makes you vulnerable.”

“He’s not going in there without me,” Gwen answered her voice low and threatening.

“That’s your decision.”

“Yes it is,” she confirmed.

“You both have to live by it,” Jack said looking from one to the other before sitting down.

“Oh come on, you and me, a team,” Rhys enthused, trying to persuade.  _Not the best approach to take._

“Damn it Rhys,” Gwen shouted then suddenly became aware of the others watching her and lowered her tone.  “This is for real.  Do you understand that this is for real?  And if you mess up I will kill you!”

“So,” Toshiko said taking up Gwen’s hint in the awkward silence to change the subject.  “After we’ve stun-gunned all the workers we put the creature out of its misery.”

“No, we’re going to save it,” Jack said brightly making them all look at him.  “Stabilise it, wait for the rift to open and sent it back.”

“Guess who’ll be looking after it in the mean time,” Ianto said quietly before sipping his coffee as though it was a whisky of resignation.

 _As though I don’t have enough aliens to look after, what with our guests in the cells and Myfanwy, now I have to add an alien manatee,_ Ianto thought, but while there was irritation in his thoughts he also knew he would do it.

_After Jack’s experiences on the Valiant, his wanting to save it is hardly surprising.  I want to save it too, unless the pain of that they have done to it was too much._

“Tell me exactly how we are going to use it to arm ourselves against the future?” Toshiko asked incredulously.  She knew that they were never going to experiment on it, just run a few basic tests; it wasn’t going to be their brand new meat supply.

“Why shouldn’t we save it?  Because it’s alien?  It needs our protection,” Jack said sounding a little disappointed.

“You didn’t hear its cry, heartbreaking,” Rhys said surprisingly supporting Jack’s decision.

“Listen to Ahab,” Ianto sparked, put out at Rhys for giving his agreement to Jack’s plan, and because he doubted any of the others were capable of comprehending the requirements for taking care of a giant whale.

“Jack its growing,” Owen pointed out.

“Well we’ll find a way to stop it mutating.  We are doing this,” Jack said standing up again and leaning on the table.  “That’s and order.”

“Fine,” Owen consented.

“I’ll stock up on Plankton,” Ianto said loudly and with false cheer rose and headed for the door with the Tosh and Owen.

He was also going to have to figure out a place to keep it and the transport requirements.  Ianto doubted Jack would want it kept in the warehouse.

Then there was the question of how would they get it to a place with large enough rift activity to send it back?

They could put it in an enclosure off the coast, the rift sometimes opened out to sea and it would be the easiest way to get it moving once it healed.  It also wouldn’t matter too much if it kept growing.

_Rhys can drive a lorry, perhaps if I hired one of those lorries with a double flat bed he could drive it for us to a secure location.  He wants to see the creature saved he will probably say yes._

_I’ll also need a portable crane,_ Ianto thought as he headed for his work station to work out how to make Jack’s crazy plan reality.

 

 


	10. Chapter Nine

Gwen waited for the others to leave the boardroom before she said to Jack.  “So you do have a heart.”

Jack turned from Gwen to Rhys before telling him.

“We see enough death,” and he walked away.

He didn’t want either of them to know how much her words hurt.  Just because he felt that they needed Rhys for their plan to succeed wasn’t an excuse for calling him heartless.

While Jack didn’t really care what Rhys’ opinion of him was, especially as he would be Retconned by tomorrow night, it still hurt.  It was as thought he was being deliberately cast as the villain so that Rhys would feel like a hero.

Was she trying to reassure her fiancé that while Jack was the handsome captain, he didn’t have a heart like Rhys did?  Just because he had to make the hard decisions that she didn’t agree with, was he to be painted as a monster redeeming himself?

Or was that not it at all.  Was it just because, for all the sexual chemistry between them, he hadn’t made a pass at her?  Taken her to his bed?

Meeting Rhys on better terms than last time actually improved Jack’s opinion of the man.  He wasn’t sure what was going on when he had been forced to get Gwen to join him during that Weevil hunt, but that was not the best time for a meeting.

Jack had met enough angry jealous partners to see that Gwen had really let things slide with Rhys.  He had deliberately not made a play at her because he could see that a stable home life was what Gwen needed.

The incident with the fairies had turned her off him.  That was not an easy decision to make, one of his hardest, but Jack knew he had made the right one.

None of them understood.  All they could see was that he was letting the monsters take a child while her mother howled, they didn’t see that the girl was half one of them already.

Ianto had been the only one to understand.  The others put it down to his not being there but Jack didn’t underestimate the Welshman.  The Archivist combed though their statements, asked questions, until he was certain of the facts before making judgement.

Jack had hired Gwen for her humanity, a humanity that couldn’t understand the hard choices.  He knew they all felt that that incident was the reason why the ex-PC turned to Owen for comfort and not him after the incident in the beacons.

However their reactions to what he did with the fairies was also one of the reasons Jack had been determined to keep Ianto with them, to make sure he and Toshiko survived their trauma.  He knew that he needed his wise, understanding, archivist long before they became bedfellows.

Thinking of the Archivist made him turn to where Ianto was working on the computer.  He seemed quite engrossed and Jack paused to watch him work before asking.

“Whatca doing?”

“I’m trying to figure out the best place to keep your manatee and how to get him there,” Ianto replied with only a hint of frustration.

“Leave that for now.  Much as I hate to keep it in the warehouse we might not be able to move it until it’s healed itself,” Jack pointed out.  The Welshman bowed his head and Jack couldn’t resist giving his back a stroke.

“In that case I’ll go give our rooms in the barracks an airing.  By the time we finish getting ready I doubt we’ll have time to go home and rest.  I’ll put an extra bunk in Gwen’s room for her,” Ianto said closing down his programmes.

“That’s a good idea,” Jack acknowledged.

The Welshman nodded and walked away

Jack used the comms to tell Toshiko and Owen about Ianto airing their rooms in the Barracks.  He managed to catch Gwen and Rhys just as they were about to go on their tour of the Hub.

Then suddenly Jack found himself at a loose end.  There was no tech in this case that he could help Tosh with, his knowledge of biology was limited so he couldn’t help Owen and he’d be useless when it came to helping Ianto tidy and organise.

The immortal made his way to his office and sat down at his desk.  There was a nice stack of reports ready for him to go through while they waited.

Only Jack couldn’t concentrate on his reports.  His thoughts kept veering from Gwen’s last words during the year that never was and ‘ _So you do have a heart.’_

Such opposite words from the same woman.  One set kept hope alive in his heart during his time in hell and the other hurt his heart like a stab wound.

Glancing around his office trying to think of something else to think about his eyes alighted on the calendar and he froze.

Time had meant little in that year.  Days blurred with endless pauses between endless pain and ranting speeches.

Yet Jack knew when each member of his team had died.  The Master had taken great delight in marking the dates for him, except for Ianto’s, the immortal had been too lost in misery after the Welshman’s death to take anything as trivial as the date in.

In that year of paradox this was when the Master captured and killed Owen and Gwen, it was almost the same date.

Jack moved away from his office knowing that he needed to stop thinking about this.  Gwen was not the same woman she was in that moment, as today clearly proved; he had to concentrate on the job in hand.

His eyes caught Toshiko emerging from the kitchen with what looked like a sandwich.  Jack watched as she headed over to where Owen was working and knew that meal’s destination.

Jack smiled sadly for her.  Tosh should be able to do better than Owen, she should go and find someone who appreciates her and can take care of her.

Yet he knew why she didn’t.  Even without the circumstances that brought her to Torchwood, Toshiko never did have much confidence, though Jack had watched it grow with pride.  Courage she had no problems with, Tosh had that in spades, it was just confidence she lacked.

The exchange between his technical genius and his oblivious medic was not a moment for him to witness. 

Jack turned back to his office and spotted a book.  Not wanting to return to the maudlin his paperwork inspired he picked it up and began to flick thought it. 

He didn’t know why he looked up from the book’s pages and look across the Hub.  Yet he did, and his eyes found Gwen and Rhys kissing.

It should have been a tender, passionate, kiss, affirming the love the two had for each other intensified by the events of the day.  Instead, Gwen had her eyes open and she was looking at him.

There was anger, lust and challenge in her eyes.  Anger and challenge were certainly directed at him but Jack couldn’t tell if the lust was for him too or for Rhys.

In disgust Jack moved away.  It seemed as if he was fated not to have a moment of peace from the ex-PC.

Jack hadn’t cared about his direction as he bounded past the armoury, spotted Ianto in there, and turned.  The Welshman was always a sight worth seeing, one that always made him smile.

Instantly all thoughts of Gwen, her sex power games and inconsiderate words were forgotten.  That was the effect that suited back, with hints of shapely arse beneath its jacket, had on him.

“Make my day …” Ianto said not quite menacing as he pointed a gun at the wall.

“Ahem,” Jack coughed, loving the fact that he had caught his lover unawares. 

The grin on his face was huge, it was so rare to catch Ianto acting his age, so young and playful and the immortal loved it.

Ianto immediately put the gun into the case without looking and turned swiftly.  He hesitated slightly, mind whirring, looking adorably nervous before meeting Jack’s eye.

“Rhys should we arm him?” Ianto asked with only a slight stutter betraying the embarrassment his professional mask hid.  Jack had to hand it to the Welshman, he knew how to think on his feet.

“Hell no.  He’s hot headed enough,” Jack replied immediately.

“Like stags butting antlers.  I half expected you to get out the measuring tape,” Ianto said with only a hint of criticism.

Jack laughed and approached his lover.

Ianto was no alpha male, he never wanted to prove how big his well endowed balls were.  It made him sensible rather than weak, made him a man of wisdom whose words should be listened to not squashed.

The immortal however was an alpha male.  He took his lovers unresisting hands and placed them against his groin to judge his ball size for himself.

“Who do you reckon would win?” Jack asked with a querying smile.

Jack waggled his eyebrows as he realised that Ianto’s hand hadn’t moved.  It took the Welshman a moment to realise what they were doing, where anyone could pass and see.

As soon as he did Ianto turned back to the weapons case all silent and professional.  He placed the gun in its appropriate place ready for use.

With another grin Jack bounded away again but back towards his office.

This time his mind was full of images of Ianto and the sort of thing he could do with a gun and handcuffs to make Jack’s day, to distract him from his paperwork.

 

 


	11. Chapter Ten

A few hours after Jack left an embarrassed Ianto in the armoury the Hub was silent.  His team and their guest had all gone up to the barracks for some rest.

In the silence in the Hub, Jack’s thoughts turned away from the fantasy pleasures of his lover to the worries that had plagued him earlier, that fear he was about to send Ianto into danger.

He wasn’t able to stand being alone any longer.  Ianto had left a report when he got back from travelling with the Doctor, concerning who was using which room in the barracks and Jack found himself heading towards the Welshman’s.

Ianto opened the door to his knocking looking exhausted.  Even if Jack hadn’t been confused earlier over his feelings for Gwen, the young man’s tiredness was a good excuse not to have sex.

Jack locked the door behind him and began to remove his clothes.  He checked that Ianto was removing the underwear he had had on when he opened the door before stripping off his own.

Ianto only had a single bed and he hesitated over their sleeping positions.  Jack though knew exactly how he wanted them to lie, he wanted the Welshman’s body draped over his, facing him so he could hold him close.

Jack lay there staring into space, not even pretending to go to sleep, as Ianto settled down to do.  He didn’t notice his hands travel to cup firm buttocks.

It took Jack a moment to realise Ianto was looking at him, eyebrow raised.  The Welshman gave a look to direct the older man’s attention to the position of his hands.

The immortal rubbed gentle circles on those cheeks before stilling them in the same position unrepentantly.  The Welshman gave an affectionate sigh before settling down again.

Despite feeling the closeness of Ianto, Jack’s thoughts returned to the concerns for his safety.  He couldn’t help but dwell on how wonderful the sight of him made the immortal feel after the harshness Gwen was inflicting on him for endangering her fiancé.

He didn’t notice the way his hands were now moving up and down Ianto’s back.  For the second time the Welshman raised his head and looked at him.

“Do you want to have sex?” Ianto asked when he realised he only had the attention of the immortal’s hands.

“What?” Jack asked a little startled.

“Well your wandering hands aren’t exactly making it easy to relax,” the young man pointed out.

“Sorry,” Jack replied contrite.

“Are you worried about Gwen?  That she might do something stupid if Rhys’ life is placed in danger,” he answered quietly.  Ianto’s thoughtfulness made him flood with affection and sorrow.

“No I wasn’t thinking about Gwen,” Jack answered looking deep into Ianto’s eyes knowing that his intelligent archivist would understand.

“Oh,” Ianto exclaimed quietly as he realised what Jack meant.

“I’m not like Rhys.  I’m a trained agent, I understand the dangers and I made this choice.  Don’t make me use the cliché of quoting the death statistic of an ordinary life.

“I admit I cannot begin to comprehend what it means for you to be immortal but do I know grief and loss.  After Lisa, without Torchwood, without you, or a huge dose of Recon, I would have been broken.

“I’m finite Jack, that cannot be changed but what I do with my life is.  I don’t have eternity to prove myself in.

“Whether it’s saving the human race from alien invaders or space manatees from awful humans, whether it’s helping an old lady to cross the road or helping a friend put up shelves I only get the little chances of a mortal life,” Ianto said appealing.

“I know but…” Jack stopped unable to say it.

“You’re a man full of life Jack.  You’re meant to adapt and evolve.  Everyone you meet is meant to enrich your life, whether the changes they bring are good or bad,” Ianto said gently

“But how much am I meant to take?  How many people are meant to mean something special to me and then break me when I lose them?” Jack demanded.

“I know this sounds cruel Jack, but I hope every one of them hurts you.  I hope you will always let them in to bring joy to your life and I hope you are never prepared for the devastation their loss brings

“Because the day that pain stop, is the day your heart stops being human, the day you become a monster.

“All I can hope is that in my short time in your company, I enrich you life enough to be worth it.  I can only hope that when my time comes too leave you, you know I wish you well.

“I hope that you will find something new to help heal you, a new cause to fight, a new place to save, new people to love because that will keep you human.

“All I wish for my own life is to lead the one best that I can.  Please don’t let your fear stifle me?” Ianto asked softly.

Jack flooded with a feeling he couldn’t identify and was too afraid to examine.  Yet he followed the urge that changed his reassuring touches to passionate ones laced with kisses.

In the small bed he manoeuvred Ianto onto his back.  The Welshman banished all hopes of sleep as Jack travelled down his body making him writhe and moan.

Jack’s mouth engulfed Ianto’s cock enjoying the hardness and the taste of pre-come.  He felt Ianto moving, trying not to thrust uncontrollably and the immortal wanted him to loose that control.

Suddenly a hand tugged on his head making him stop.  Disappointed eyes rose to see a tube of lube and a look that said everything it needed to.

Jack slicked up his fingers and pushed one inside.  Jack returned his attention to the rest of Ianto’s body and he opened it ready for him.

As soon as he could he positioned himself to push into Ianto.  The Welshman’s legs wrapped around him and he leaned up to meet Jack, allowing him in deeper.

Ianto was leaning on one arm while Jack supported them with one of his.  The other arms held them close, moving with the rhythm that was unable to be slow but refused to be hurried.

They came together and with their climax, exhaustion claimed Ianto.  Jack hovered over him reluctant to withdraw, asleep he looked so frighteningly at peace.

Jack realised then he was rapidly reaching the point of no return.  He may flirt with others, fantasise with others, even have the occasional kiss, yet even asleep Captain Jack Harkness could feel himself being enriched by every second in Ianto’s company.

He shied away from the fear that when he lost Ianto, it wouldn’t just break him but shatter him uncontrollably.  He was Captain Jack Harkness, leader of Torchwood, defender of an earth that couldn’t afford him to break.

Yet even as he tried to ignore that fear he felt himself let go.  Realise something that, only in this moment with Ianto’s words in his mind and his body reassuringly around him, Jack could accept.

He could confine Ianto to the Hub, wrap him up in protective layers to keep him safe but that would just be a prison.  Jack might unintentionally turn his cautious Welshman into a danger seeker when he realised the only escape was in death.

Jack knew well that it wasn’t just people that enrich lives, it was experience.  He was expecting Ianto to make him better while he was considering making Ianto less.

In this moment it was only just hitting him that Ianto _really_ wasn’t the man he left behind over a year ago.  Torchwood was no longer Ianto’s path to redemption, no longer a comfort zone to hide from the ruins of real life.

Torchwood was Ianto’s free choice, the path he chose for himself.  It was a decision that brought him contentment, the reason he smiled again while the immortal was gone.

Jack was a separate choice nothing to do with his decision to be in Torchwood anymore.  He was the choice of Ianto’s heart and the immortal wanted to stay that way.

He gave his sleeping lover a kiss to his lips then withdrew from his body.  He went to the bathroom to get a cloth to clean them up.

When he returned Ianto had already moved onto his side.  Cleaning up done Jack slid beneath his lover and was welcomed by his warmth.

“You had better be careful tomorrow,” Jack said sternly restraining himself from saying more.

Instead he snuggled closer and allowed the Welshman’s warmth to once more banish his cold fear.


	12. Chapter Eleven

Ianto Jones slept until later than usual, but still woke up early enough to make love to Jack.  The Welshman didn’t question his lover insistent touches or his desire to have the young man inside him, his wish to feel the life and power of his mortal lover.

What Ianto did question, when he found out about is some hours later, was the fact that, while he was in the shower, Jack had picked up his own clothes and walked blithely naked across the Hub to his quarters for his own shower and clean clothes.

The Welshman slipped out of the Hub to prepare a vegetarian continental breakfast for the team, different types of bread roll, cheeses, jams and pastries to be eaten with his excellent coffee.  Both Owen and Tosh noticed and smiled at their house proud friend pushing the boat out for their guest.

The guest of honour and his fiancé though were not destined to partake of their feast.  Tosh, whose room was next to Gwen’s, reluctantly confirmed that the Welsh couple had spent the night in a similar manner to Jack and Ianto.

They woke up so late that they had no time for breakfast as Rhys insisted that he needed to get home and change.  Jack agreed to let Ianto drive them first home then to Harwoods as planned.

Rhys spent part of the journey apologising for getting up so late and Jack reassured him that everything was fine.  Ianto was soon parked outside Rhys’ flat and they said they would wait for him to get ready.

“Are you okay?” Ianto asked gently after shooting Jack a few looks to see if any of the worries they had discussed the night before lingered.

“You’re a good agent Ianto and you deserve your place on this team, earned the right to be here today.  You don’t have to prove yourself to be a hero, you’re already one of the best men I know,” Jack answered quietly.

Ianto looked around to make sure no one was watching.  Then he grabbed Jack’s coat and pulled him close into a blazing kiss.

Then just as suddenly he pulled back, let go of the coat and turned back to the road with a brief smile.  Jack looked stunned as Ianto innocently stared at the road, as though that kiss hadn’t brought its recipient halfway to hardness.

Ianto Jones though knew his Captain well.  If he meant what he said, if he was sat beside the leader of Torchwood who was ready to command his life and death as the situation required it, then a grin would spread across his face.

However if he was sitting beside his boyfriend who only said that to keep him happy, if there were still doubts lingering in his mind, then he would lapse into a broody silence and the Archivist wasn’t sure what he could do to remedy that.

Ianto tried not to sigh with relief as a smile lounged its way across his boss’s face.  Jack caught his eye and the grin widened wickedly.

“When we’ve saved the whale and everyone else, including Rhys are retconned into blissful ignorance you are going to continue that demonstration of your brilliance,” Jack said quietly.

“Yes sir,” Ianto replied and smiled at the slight growl he received.

They waited quietly shooting each other playful looks until Rhys returned.  There were a few toast crumbs and the slight aroma of cheap coffee about him, which attested to his having had some breakfast while he changed.

Ianto drove Jack and Rhys to Harwoods Haulage and then headed for the rendezvous point.  As soon as he arrived, he was assailed by Gwen with questions concerning her fiancé safety, which he tried to answer without sounding patronising.

She paced and fretted while they waited for the lorry to arrive.  Then suddenly she announced that she had to go and get something, leaving the others behind in stunned silence.

“That woman is going to drive me mad,” Owen said plainly.

“Well then lets hope that Jack turns up now and we can say that she changed her mind about coming and leave without her,” Toshiko replied a slight smile on her face.

“You know that they’ll never fall for that,” Owen told her sadly.

“Worth a try though,” Tosh stated.

“Only if I don’t get accused of sedating her and locking her up in the Hub,” Owen replied firmly.

Toshiko smiled and agreed.  Ianto smiled to himself, which was considered, by Owen, to be an agreement.

Unfortunately their plans were dashed by Gwen returning at the same time as the truck arrived.  She ignored the team and headed straight for the driver.

The team exchanged looks and began picking up their things to get in.  It was dark inside and as he crossed the threshold Ianto felt a slight wave of fear.

He concentrated on his job and began distributing torches and guns as soon as the lorry began to move.  The waving lights didn’t improve the situation, just made him feel a little nauseous.

Ianto closed his eyes and tried to think of something to shake the fear.  Usually when he was in a small dark space he had a naked Captain Jack Harkness beside him, but that sort of thought wasn’t really helping.

Instead he began to mentally go over the plans of the warehouse and what they knew about Harris and Harris.  He felt himself calm and relax at the facts rolled around in his brain.

Eventually the lorry slowed to a stop.  They could hear Rhys talking to someone, presumably to get the coast cleared.  Jack worked on the small door on the side of the truck he chose and they waited until they could feel their driver weight descend from the cab before stepping out.

They made their way swiftly inside and split into groups.  Ianto followed Owen into the area where they packed the meat.  The smell took him back to the beacons for a moment, and he had to stop himself from gagging.

“Mmmm,” Ianto hummed sarcastically trying to stop himself from feeling sick.

Owen gave him a look then directed him to one of the doors.  As he took a look as Owen found another door, giving the medic a nod, they decided to spilt up and continue searching the rest of the smaller rooms alone.

Ianto found his way to the upper level and began to check it out.  Apart from the main office it was mostly disused and empty of people.

“Everyone they’re armed,” Owen said just as Ianto finished searching the upper level.

Ianto rushed down the stairs then looked cautiously around him before deciding to head though the door to his left.  He moved down another corridor and just passed a door when it opened and one of the workers came out.

“Hello,” he said with a wave and a cheerful smile.  “I have a thingy here somewhere,” he said patting himself before reaching inside his coat and pulling out the stun gun.  “Hell of a day,” he said as he stunned the man.

Ianto caught him as he fell and began to drag him out of sight.  He dumped him on the floor and wiped his hands down himself in disgust.

“Ianto did Rhys get away?” Gwen asked over the comms.

“I’ll check now,” he replied closing the door behind him and heading back to the meat packing area.

As he hurried past piles of plastic wrapped flesh, he ran into Dale Harris and the others, with Rhys as their hostage.

“Hey hey hey hey hey.  You looking for someone?  How many more of you?” Dale asked pointing a gun at Ianto’s head.

Ianto glanced at Rhys to make sure he was alright then rolled his eyes before quietly answering, “Just us.”

“You thought the two of you could take us out?” Greg Harris scoffed.  Ianto merely raised an unimpressed eyebrow in reply.

“Nah you’re not that stupid,” Dale said menacingly.  He opened Ianto’s coat and pulled out the stun gun with a puzzled look.

“Dave get some ropes, tie their hands.  I want every door locked inside and out.  No body leaves the building till this is sorted.  Move it,” Dale commanded grabbing Ianto and manhandling him in front of him.

 _Jack is not going to be happy about this_ , he thought, humiliated, as Dave came back with packing string.

He tried to remember the escape tricks to being tied up and prayed he got them right.  Ironically it was Rhiannon his sister, not Jack, who had taught him them, she had had an obsession with Houdini as a child and escapology in general and used to practice on him.

From where they were caught they were pushed into the main body of the warehouse, where he knew Jack, Tosh and Gwen had been searching.  Thoughts of his team vanished as he saw the huge creature.

It was ugly except for its eye and the beautiful haunting sound of a creature in pain.  Rhys was right, no one hearing that cry should be left unmoved.

“What is it?” he asked his voice husky with awe.

“The lads call it the cash cow,” Dale replied.

Ianto felt ashamed that Dale Harris considered himself to be human.  This living being meant nothing to him, just meat, just like Evan Sherman.

“Dale what are you doing?” a concerned voice interrupted.

“They couldn’t bear to see us making money Vic.  Fancied some for yourselves eh?  Thought we’d be a pushover?” Dale replied and Ianto’s disgust increased.

“Mate you are so out of your depth,” Rhys replied; his faith was warming but it filled Ianto with concern.  The others were here, how was Gwen going to react to hearing her fiancé?

“It’s funny I was just thinking the same about you.”

“Dale don’t be an idiot,” Vic the vet pleaded.

“Show yourselves or I shoot the delivery boy,” Dale called out in response.

Ianto didn’t need to hear Gwen’s “Okay” to know this situation was about to go straight to hell.

 


	13. Chapter Twelve

Captain Jack Harkness stood with his hand beside the creature’s eye until he felt the last spark of life leave.  He had failed this magnificent, tortured creature.  Keeping it company as it slipped into the darkness was the only thing he could do.

This mission had gone spectacularly wrong.  They had all done their best, but it hadn’t been good enough.

He didn’t bother to wonder how the Harris brothers figured out they were here before Rhys could leave.  Jack just wished he’d insisted that Gwen stay behind, although he doubted he would have been able to enforce that short of locking her in a cell.

Jack was never more grateful that Rhys had persuaded them to let him come, than the moment he took that bullet.  Tied up he saved his fiancée from what would was most likely to have been a fatal wound.

Then there was brilliant Ianto.  Keeping his head, getting himself free, tackling armed thugs by himself.  _And I sent him after them to finish the job._

The realisation made him feel cold all over.  Between the panic of the thrashing creature and the sorrow as it died, he had pushed aside all thoughts of his young archivist.

Jack nodded to Tosh to take charge of the situation.  To steer Owen away from his apologetic vigil, to looking after Rhys and Gwen.

He didn’t have a clue where Ianto could be.  Then Jack heard the sounds of a car engine and automatically turned towards it.

The Welshman parked the car and stepped out as Jack emerged.  He was wearing his professional mask, hiding the trauma of what he’d just experienced.

“I managed to find and stun everyone whose still here, I think several of them ran away but there is bound to be employee information in the upstairs office to help us find them all.

“I thought I’d better get a car so that we could take Rhys back to the Hub.  The only other transport we have is the lorry, and given its contents, I didn’t think using it was a good idea,” the Welshman said.

As he spoke Jack signalled for him to follow and Ianto obeyed.  They walked to the other side of the lorry out of the eye-line from the warehouse.

Before Ianto could begin his next sentence, Jack grabbed him and pushed him against the side of the lorry, a hand cushioning the young man’s head.  His mouth pressed against the Welshman’s lips and his tongue’s demand for entrance was immediately granted.

His hands moved around Ianto’s body half groping, half checking him for injuries.  Satisfied he let his hands move inside the young mans coat and pull him closer by the buttocks.  Jack felt the other man’s hands on his hips like an anchor steadying them both.

“Oi put the tea boy down.  I can’t tend to Rhys if you make me feel nauseous,” Owen’s caustic voice brought to a halt the series of kisses separated only by the needs of their lungs for air.

With a last kiss Jack moved back slightly but didn’t let go.

“Ianto drive the lorry back to town and deal with it.  Tosh drive the others back to the Hub to get Rhys the medical attention he needs.  I’ll deal with things here,” Jack ordered.

A look of concern in Ianto’s eyes was the only protest he got.  Normally Gwen would have argued that he needed help, but right now she had other concerns.

Ianto moved slightly and Jack reluctantly let him go.  The Welshman showed them the car he had organised and then helped them get Rhys in before heading to the lorry with one last look at the Captain.

Jack waited for the others to be out of sight before turning back to the warehouse.  A cold darkness settled upon his heart as he realised what he needed to do.

The creature’s cries as it had been cut into stirred too many memories of the year that never was.  He felt haunted by that period of his life, unable to escape a single memory for long, no matter what distractions he used.

He had been helpless then but he wasn’t anymore.

He headed for the office and found both the Harris brothers unconscious and the safe open.  He ignored them and grabbed the records of employees so that he could track down anyone who had the day off or evaded Ianto.

For a moment he considered leaving them there.  He considered acting out his plan while they were trapped inside, but he didn’t.

It would make him no better than them, if not worse.  Once he could have lived with that, but he knew Ianto would know and Ianto hoped for better from him.

He picked up the nearest Harris brother and carried him outside.  He carried him a suitable distance away without actually caring for the accuracy of his guess, and dropped him in a muddy puddle.

Jack didn’t realise until he dropped him that he was looking at Dale Harris.  The man who had held a gun to Ianto’s head, tried to kill Gwen.

It took all his strength to turn and head back into the building.  He wasn’t man enough though to stop contemplating things he could do to Dale without his Welsh conscience.

When he finished carrying all the men outside he checked their names off the list of employees.  He was impressed, Ianto had apprehended most of them single-handed.

He knew they would be coming around soon.  He went back swiftly for some glasses and water.

As each man woke he gave them a drink of water and retcon while they were still groggy.  Within minutes they were back to being unconscious for hours.

The workers dealt with, Jack then focused his attention on the remaining cars.

There was no way for them to transport the creature back to the Hub for incineration without cutting it up.  Jack didn’t have any desire to cut it or autopsy it and he wasn’t sure he wanted to make Owen do it either.

Jack found a can and piping and began to turn his attention to extracting the petrol from the cars.  It was an arduous task and he had to empty the can over the creature several times before every vehicle was drained of petrol.

He knew however that that wasn’t enough to burn the creature.  He scoured the rest of the warehouse looking for anything flammable to drench the alien and its meat.

Jack howled in frustration that it still wasn’t enough, when he heard a vehicle pulling up.  Worried, and remembering the men he had left in the mud outside, he hurried to investigate.

He stood stunned for a moment as he looked at the Torchwood SUV and the suited Welshman who emerged from it.  Never had such a beautiful sight been more unwelcome, this was a side of him Jack didn’t want Ianto to see.

Ianto didn’t say a word but went to the back of the car.  He pulled a case from the boot and calmly walked over to Jack.

“I thought you might need these,” Ianto said softly holding the case aloft for him to open.

Inside Jack found four alien incendiary grenades.  If planted correctly they were more than enough to destroy the alien corpse and the warehouse while doing little damage to the area around them.

The immortal closed the lid and looked at Ianto.  Jack couldn’t shield his lover from a dark side he could already see and accept.

Taking the case he gave Ianto a gentle kiss and ordered, “Wait here.”

Before he could leave Ianto rested a hand on his arm.

“Jack about the money,” he began.

“What do you want to steal it?” the immortal ask aghast.

“It is an option,” Ianto replied coldly.  “You could add it to Torchwood funds or give it to charity.  Personally I thought it would make very nice kindling.”

Jack smiled at him and gave him another kiss.  “That is a good idea.”

He walked away to set the explosives and grab the money.  He threw the money over the alien and the petrol he had soaked it in earlier helped the cash to stick.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered before setting the last charge and turning to leave.

Ianto hadn’t stayed, he’d moved the SUV a safe distance away.  He waited beside it for the immortal to return.

Side by side they stood as Jack used his wrist strap to activate the explosives.  They closed their eyes against the light and heat but their hands found each other.

It was over in second although several fires started.  The two men stood silently, their thoughts not just with this alien but with others they had lost to pain and fire.

Then Jack turned to Ianto, turned to the man he had almost lost today.  The man who shone so brilliantly in all his darkness.

He reached for Ianto’s hands and kissed his wrists where the bindings had cut into his skin, before looking up to the young man’s face.  One glance at those beautiful, sorrowful, blue eyes and he was lost.

Jack pushed Ianto into the SUV and began to kiss him.  It was the same passion and fear he had felt as he had kissed the Welshman earlier.

Only this time there was no team to interrupt.  There was only the heat of the fires behind him and the failure he wanted to forget, the near miss he wanted to erase.

Ianto may not experience the adrenalin buzz the way the others did, but today he almost died.  Right now as Jack wanted to feel him alive beneath him, the Welshman too wanted to feel alive.

Frantic hands with no finesse, no calm tackled buttons and zips.  Opening shirts and flies, pulling down cloth so that hands could roam on bare skin and hot cocks could grind freely against each other.

The world faded away and all they knew was each other, as intimate as a darkened bedroom.  Nails and lips marked, breathing heavy and erratic, they rutted against each other, needing to feel more and more.

They both came too quickly.  Jack leaned down on Ianto, unwilling more than unable to move.  He breathed in the life in the Welshman’s eyes and adored each breath on his skin.

They might have stayed there forever had they not heard the distant sound of sirens.

Ever prepared, Ianto brought wipes out of his coat pocket to clean themselves up.  They helped each other dress, not wanting to be more than a few inches apart.

Ianto gave Jack the keys to the SUV and with a last kiss they moved apart to get in.

As they drove away they past fire trucks and police cars but neither man cared.  There was peace in their silence that said that, for now, everything was alright.

They had a detour to make to round up the last of the workers but both men knew when they neared the Hub, other concerns would creep in, other feelings of mourning and regret.  For now though that didn’t matter because Ianto Jones was very much alive.

 


	14. Chapter Thirteen

When Jack and Ianto entered the Hub, Gwen was pacing furiously and Tosh was trying to prevent her from entering Autopsy.  Both men could guess that Owen was operating on Rhys there.

“Where the hell have you to been?” Gwen demanded looking at Jack, wanting to know why he wasn’t there to support her while she worried.

“We’ve been doing our job,” Jack retorted angrily.  “We Retconned all the workers, even those that had run away and we dealt with the remains of the creature.”

“Do you want me to begin work on a cover story?” Toshiko asked partly to get away from Gwen’s ire.

“Later it can wait.  The civil authorities are sorting out the fire and probably rounding up our amnesiac bad guys.  To be honest as long as Torchwood or aliens don’t end up in any of the reports I don’t care what explanation they come up with,” Jack said wearily.

“Okay I’ve finished,” Owen said coming up the Autopsy bay steps.  “You can come and see him.”

Gwen didn’t even look back and Tosh barely had a chance to get out of the way.  Ianto caught Jack giving her a strange look before the immortal looked at him, and gave him a stranger one.

Ianto risked a small smile before following Gwen to the bay.  He didn’t enter but took up a place above them so that he could look down without being in the way.

He was glad Rhys was alright.  He might have brought some friction and antler clashing into Torchwood’s life but he was a good bloke.

Gwen looked adoringly down at him.  To Ianto that look was a much better testimony of her love for Rhys than the raging grief she had displayed last time her fiancé was in Autopsy.

“Hero of the hour,” Toshiko said smiling as Rhys began to stir awake.  Suddenly the whole atmosphere seemed to relax with relief.

“Hey,” Rhys said groggily.

“Hey,” Gwen replied with a smile.

“Are you alright?” the Welshman asked his fiancée and Ianto liked him even more.

“I am now you are yeah,” Gwen replied bending down to kiss him until he groaned in pain.

“Sorry,” she apologised.

“Next time let her take the bullet,” Ianto said only half serious.  _It would prevent her from harassing everyone for letting you get injured._

“Never,” Rhys replied which to the Archivist was the right answer.

“What happened to the blokes?” Rhys asked as Gwen reached up to stroke his hair.

“We gave them amnesia pills.  They’ll remember who they are but not what they did over the past few months,” Jack answered.

“So they got away with it,” Rhys criticised, obviously sharing his future wife’s sense of justice.

“It’d never stand up in a court of law,” Jack replied gently.

“And the creature?” he asked.

Here was a heavy silence in which Gwen glanced at Owen.  Each of them lost in memories of the alien and its sad ending.

“Incinerated,” Jack answered sadly.

“So there’s nothing left, it was never there,” Rhys said melancholy himself.

“Gwen I need a word,” Jack said moving away.

The Welshwoman gave Rhys a chase kiss before following.  The rest of the team leaned closer as though silently guarding him until her return.

They all knew that Jack was going to order Gwen to retcon Rhys.  For a day he had been a comrade, now he needed to forget them.

Ianto’s thoughts returned to the previous day when he and Jack had discussed their use of Retcon.  For a day, Rhys Williams had been a hero and now he was never going to know, but Gwen would, she would remember him as a hero.

 _I failed you.  I couldn’t prevent you being taken prisoner and I was too slow to stop you getting shot,_ Ianto thought sadly.  _You might not remember me tomorrow Rhys, but I will do what I can to protect you.  And Gwen._

_She may have a wandering heart, there’s a wandering heart I’m quite fond of myself, but I know you love her and I will do my best to look after her for you._

“Hey are you alight mate?” Rhys asked and it took Ianto a moment to realise he was looking up and talking to him.

“Yes I’m fine,” Ianto replied.

“Well you certainly know how to keep your cool.  I was bloody terrified,” Rhys said lightly.

“Me too, but he wasn’t the first maniac to wave a gun in my face,” the Archivist replied depreciatingly.  Owen snorted.

“You kept your cool very well yourself,” Ianto added, ignoring Owen.

“Thanks mate,” Rhys said smiling a little more.

Movement drew Ianto’s attention to Tosh.  She was wearing a beaming smile as though Rhys had just scored extra points with her.

The smile faded as Gwen returned and they started getting Rhys ready to go.  The atmosphere became a strange one of farewell, where the guest of honour was the only one who didn’t know he wasn’t coming back.

“Ianto could you get me a bottle of water,” Jack called out across the Hub.

The Archivist ducked his head in apology and nodded his goodbye to Rhys.

“Seeya around mate, and thanks,” Rhys said as he realised Ianto was leaving.

“Yeah,” Ianto replied with another nod before heading away.

The Archivist headed for the kitchen and grabbed two bottles of water as he realised he was also thirsty.  Well they had had an eventful day.

When he arrived in Jack’s office it seemed to be slightly more messy than normal.  There were piles of files everywhere.

“I was looking for the Engesse file and I can’t find it,” Jack said sheepishly.

Ianto rolled his eyes and handed over the bottle of water.  Silently the Welshman began to tidy up the files as he searched for the missing one.

It didn’t take long to realise that Jack wasn’t helping.  Instead he was sat at his desk, pretending to work on something, while shooting glances at Ianto.

Ianto knew he wasn’t there to find a file.  Rough, raw sex at the warehouse was obviously not quite enough to reassure Jack, but the Welshman didn’t mind.

He was still in Jack’s office doing another pointless task when the alarm sounded and Gwen stormed through the cogwheel door.

“I’m not doing it.  I won’t drug him,” she exclaimed.

“You have to,” Tosh stated.

“You can’t allow him to remember,” Owen added.

“It’s the rules,” Ianto finished firmly.

“But none of you have any partners outside of this,” Gwen stated.

“But we understand how you feel,” Jack said and Ianto wondered how many lovers from outside of Torchwood he had had to keep his life a secret from.

“No you don’t,” Gwen countered angrily.  “No you don’t Jack.  You all think it’s cold and lonely out there but it isn’t for me because I have him.  He matters and I’ve lied to him for long enough.”

Ianto cast his eyes down.  He knew and understood the truth of her words.  It was like an idea that had been floating in his mind suddenly clicked into place.

Torchwood needed Gwen, needed her to keep the human perspective, stop them going down paths they shouldn’t take.  Yet the longer she stayed in Torchwood, the more it changed her, more it made her the company’s creature.

That was why she needed Rhys.  He was her escape, her connection to the real world, her grounding rod in the lightening chaos of a Torchwood operative’s life.

If she was to remain their human voice, she needed Rhys as her anchor.  Her affair with Owen occurred when the chain had snapped, the incident with the cannibals pulled her so far away from her normal life and she needed to find land, and because she couldn’t tell her boyfriend, she had turned to the surly medic’s shore.

Would she have suggested using the Risen Mitten if she had been able to talk to Rhys?  Would she have been so determined to bring Susie back to life if she hadn’t been so obsessed with Torchwood?  Hadn’t being trying to block out that they were ruining things with the man she loved more than the world?

“What he did to day was so brave.  Braver than any of us because we signed up for this, but he didn’t, he did it because he loves me and I won’t take that away from him, I won’t.

“And if that means I have to quit, or you retcon me or whatever then fine, fine,” Gwen said accepting.

Jack turned to Ianto and tossed him his bottle of water before walking angrily towards her.

“You really think you could go back to your old life before Torchwood?” he demanded and Ianto knew that his earlier conversation with Jack about being retconned after Lisa was resonating in the Captain.

“I wouldn’t know anything different,” she replied harshly.

“I would,” Jack replied.  They stared at each other for a few moments, both challenging, both trying to enforce their will upon the other.

“Give Rhys my love and I will see you tomorrow,” Jack said with controlled anger.

She ran out of the cogwheel door without a look back, full of excitement and eagerness.  Jack looked at the concerned Toshiko for a moment, before turning back to his office.

The immortal grabbed the offered bottle from Ianto as he passed without looking at him.  The Welshman leaned against the doorframe and let out a sigh of relief, Jack had made the right decision.

Ianto glanced at Jack heading for his desk and switching on the CCTV.  He knew he was no longer needed to do little jobs.

Jack had a different problem to resolve, accepting his choice, and the change he had just allowed to take place.


	15. Chapter Fourteen

Jack switched on the CCTV guessing correctly where Gwen had left Rhys while she came to confront him.  He watched as she walked up to him and kissed him.

It was a genuine kiss this time.  Jack wasn’t sure if it was Rhys’ brush with death, but this kiss held a greater purity and love than the tainted one she had given her fiancé last night.

The rational part of Jack’s mind acknowledged the same arguments as Ianto’s regarding why he should accept Rhys remembering Torchwood.  Jack could see that asking her to Retcon her fiancé had been giving her a choice between the man she loved, and the job she loved, and Gwen Cooper had made the right choice.

The irrational part of Jack, the part that was touched by her final words during the year that never was, felt the same hurt and betrayal he had when he discovered an engagement ring on her finger.

He turned away feeling a little heart broken. 

Jack had never had any intention of having a relationship with Gwen beyond that of co-worker and friend.  His own relationship with Ianto however was proof enough that things were not always that easy.

While Jack never discounted the possibility that they would have sex in the future, friendship was the only relationship he and Gwen were going to have.  Whatever holds she might have had over his heart, she had just severed them.

He sat there, undisturbed in a broody silence rationalising his feelings, telling himself that it was a different Gwen; that this infatuation was his own stupid lie.  The world beyond his office ceased to exist as he hid and tried to heal himself.

Unable to stand his own wallowing pain, he realised something was missing.  He shouldn’t have had to feel this way, he had something, someone worth a million Gwen Coopers, so where was he.

Jack emerged from his office but couldn’t see Ianto anywhere.  He wondered if perhaps he was working in the Archives, or in the Tourist Information Office, and turned to Toshiko.

“He’s gone to the Park,” she said before he even had the chance to ask.

He walked over to her for an explanation and saw a map with a little red dot in the middle of the park.

“You’re tracking him?” Jack asked incredulously.

“Given everything that’s happened to him I have the right, as his friend, to worry.  He knows its there all he had to do is take off his watch,” the technical genius replied defensively.

“Why would …” Jack began to ask.

“Yeah right,” Owen interrupted grouchily. “You’re as bad as her.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Jack asked coldly turning to the medic.

“Look I’m sure that if we hadn’t interrupted that little nauseating display would have turned positively pornographic.  I know hostage situations and danger, they get the old adrenalin pumping, can be very sexy, I’ve used that myself.

“But you can’t keep him in your office so that you can ogle him one minute, and ignore him to go into a broody silence over Gwen the next,” Owen replied harshly.

“I was thinking about the new security updates and precautions we need to take now that Rhys knows about us,” Jack lied.

“Yeah,” Owen said with a sad smile.  “I didn’t think you’d noticed the report Ianto left on your desk before he left which probably contains every security consideration you could ever want.”

With a guilty start Jack turned to look at his desk.  There, lying on it was a report that hadn’t been there when he was making Ianto tidy up earlier.

_Oh gods what did Ianto think?  I didn’t even notice he’d come in.  My silent Ianto who sees everything, what did he see?_

“Look Jack that probably isn’t why he left,” Tosh said trying to reassure him.  “That place reminded me of the Beacons.  He’s probably just gone out people watching.  Reminding himself of why he does this.”

“Finish what you’re doing and take the rest of the day off,” Jack said turning back to his office to get some things from his quarters.  He could hear Toshiko admonishing Owen as he closed the door.

Jack wasn’t sure what he was going to say, wasn’t sure if this was a good idea, but a panic had begun to creep over him.

He’s been mourning a fantasy and ignoring the wonderful flesh and blood man who meant so much to him.  Jack had nearly lost Ianto on the mission today, and now he might lose him anyway.

He ignored Tosh and Owen as he headed for the car park.   They in turn were doing their best to remain unnoticed by him.

The immortal saw that the Welshman had taken his car and decided to leave the SUV behind.  He ran towards the park trying to think of what to say and coming up with nothing.

When he spotted Ianto he slowed, tried to get his breath back before approaching.  When he did the Welshman looked up, glanced at his overnight bag, smiled and gestured with his eyes for Jack to sit beside him.

Instantly Jack felt relief, Tosh had been right he was just people watching.  A calm spread throughout his being.  _It’s like I’m under his enchantment and I don’t want to be released._

They sat there watching people pass by having fun, exercising their dogs, taking shortcuts home until it began to get dark.  Then they walked to the Welshman’s car and got an Indian takeaway on the way to Ianto’s house.

Half way thought dinner Jack said, “I didn’t get a chance to read your report but I’d like to know how you feel about Rhys knowing about Torchwood?  Should I let him keep his memories or should I Retcon them both?”

“I suppose that depends on what you want with Gwen,” Ianto replied.

“I don’t want to do anything with Gwen,” Jack said instantly defensive.  “I don’t have any desires with regards to her.”

Ianto’s suddenly stillness, the slow precision with which he put down his fork, told Jack instantly that he had just made a huge mistake.

“I meant,” Ianto stated, his voice making the room frost. “That if you intend for her to remain the human voice within Torchwood, a moral compass, then she needs Rhys, needs someone she can talk to and trust who isn’t tainted like the rest of us.

“I know Gwen’s a very special woman, I know you’ve always had a thing for her but I thought...  I hoped ...  I know I never ...   I thought...

Jack could hear the missing words **_I thought_** _when you asked me out that you had made your choice. **I hoped** that you wanted me.  **I know I never** asked you for fidelity but I hoped for it.   **I thought** when she got engaged that would be the end of it_.

Ianto lapsed into silence without uttering the most damning sentence of all.  _It doesn’t matter, I knew I was never really that important to you._

Jack opened his mouth to reassure Ianto and the wrong thing came out.

“She said she loved me.”

 


	16. Chapter Fifteen

Ianto froze completely.  Jack couldn’t believe those words had passed his lips, those words he had been desperately trying to hold on to and hide.

They were words it was impossible to take back, and suddenly a floodgate was open and more poured out of him as he tried to explain.

“It was during that year.  The year when the Master ruled the earth, about now actually, when Gwen and Owen were captured.

“The Master didn’t know about Torchwood but he knew about me, knew I was the reason the TARDIS went to the end of the Universe.  I wasn’t easy to find but he did, learnt about the team, sent you to the Himalayas so that you couldn’t help me.

“He dragged them both before me and asked them both if they had any last words they wished to say to me.  Owen said nothing not even when the Master tortured him.

“Gwen said ‘I Love you’.  It took her so long to die.  He kept her on the edge of life, in such pain but she never took her words back.

“You’re a Torchwood Archivist Ianto.  You’ve had their torture resistance training.  You know that to keep a secret you wrap a lie around it and hope that it holds until rescue, escape or death.

“Well I had a secret.  He couldn’t kill me and while he could inflict physical pain, he knew emotional pain was worse.  There was one thing I didn’t want him to touch, one thing I wanted untainted, to protect, hide, you, Ianto.

“So I used her words and created a lie with them.  Made her the one I cared for, the one I grieved, the one I hoped to see returned when the Doctor’s plan worked. 

“He knew the Doctor would have a plan, he always does and he knew I would know that, to undo everything, I just had to destroy the paradox machine.

“The problem is that the best way to sell a lie is to tell it to yourself, make yourself believe the lie and others will believe it.”

Ianto got up suddenly.  The problem is that he did know, did understand what Jack was talking about, and that made it worse.

He grabbed the plates and packed away the left over takeaway.  He threw away most of his meal away and opened the tap to wash up his plate.

Jack knew diversion and distraction techniques when he saw them.  Knew that he was hurting Ianto with every word, but the only way to heal that pain was to say more.

“Ianto it was a lie,” Jack said gently placing his hand on top of the Welshman’s.  “A lie to keep me sane, a lie to keep you safe.

“In my darkest moments it was never her face I saw, her voice that spoke to me.  It was never her I longed to smell and taste and touch.

“I wondered once if I accidentally gave you away.  If in those dark moments he could see past the lies and know it was you I cared for the most.  The things he did to you… I feared…” Jack’s voice trailed off and he turned away as, for a moment, he had returned to Ianto Jones death.

 _“The universe awaits,” the Welshman said and then he seemed to be gone._ Jack knew it was a last gift from his lover, letting his soul leave so that it was just a shell that was raped and tortured.

At the time that one act of love gave him strength.  After it was over it didn’t matter, Ianto Jones was still gone.

“You told me once that when Lisa died you died with her.  When you died aboard the Valiant, I died too.

“I kept up the pretence sometimes, I had people to protect, but my heart wasn’t in it anymore.  Tish said that the Master spent three days after your death killing me, waiting for me to return and killing me again.

“I don’t remember it at all.  Pulse or no I was dead either way until I saw that vision of you asking me to hope again and I did,” Jack said looking at Ianto again, silently pleading to him to see that he the depth of his feelings.

“Only when you did wake again, the lie woke to,” Ianto said quietly.  “How could it not?  Those are the three most powerful words in the universe, they never fail to have an effect.”

In that moment Jack knew Ianto was never going to say _I love you_ , not with words.  Sometimes in the Welshman’s eyes he had seen it as though it was written in stars across the night sky.  Only right now those stars were dimming, his words were snuffing them out.

“When Bilis Manger gave the others a temptation to get them to open the Rift it was a choice, a choice of love or duty.  But not you, because the person you cared about had already proved faithless, broken your trust.

“I hurt you, so that when I didn’t have the answers, you couldn’t blindly follow me.  He gave you a vision so that when you saw Gwen’s grief, you couldn’t stand by and let her face the pain you had.

“Your compassion and understanding are two of the things I love about you Ianto,” Jack said softly.  It was a measure of the hurt he felt that those words got no reaction from the Welshman.

“This crisis was giving Gwen the same choice.  Rhys or Torchwood.”

“And you,” Ianto said looking him in the eye now.

“And me,” Jack acknowledged. 

“Gwen’s has seen me as one of her choices since my return.  You’re right Ianto, letting Rhys keep his memory is the right choice for Gwen, for Torchwood.” _For us_ , echoed in the silence between them.

“She isn’t one of my choices.  I came back for you, all my plans, my hopes and fears about returning, they all centred on you.

“Yes, her words had an effect but they don’t any longer.  The truth has broken their hold, and the one I want to hold on to won’t look at me.

“Do you want me to go Ianto?” Jack asked quietly, desperately, afraid that the answer was yes, afraid of how far that yes was going to push him away.

Ianto didn’t answer.  His eyes returned to the dishes and began to wash them again.  Jack withdrew his hand, grabbed a tea towel and began to dry.

It wasn’t a rejection but it wasn’t acceptance either.  They moved on from the washing up to other household chores each done together in silence.

When they retired to bed together, Jack realised he owed his stay to Ianto’s promise to look after him though the night, to the look of horror he must have seen when the immortal thought of the Welshman’s death.

Jack relaxed into a meditative sleep but he was still aware.  Aware when Ianto slipped from the bed to sit on one of the chairs by the window and think.

He pretended to be asleep until he heard Ianto’s breathing deepen several hours later.  Then Jack rose and carried his sleeping lover back to the bed.

“Please don’t leave me,” Jack whispered as he spooned up behind Ianto and stayed awake, staring at him for the rest of the night, so afraid that this was his last chance.

 


	17. Chapter Sixteen

Ianto Jones woke with Jack’s warmth behind him, Jack’s arms possessively around him and felt increasingly numb.

Jack didn’t cling to him as he slipped out of bed and into the shower.  Ianto didn’t look the immortal in the eye to see his hurt, and want, as he selected his cheapest, dullest and most unflattering suit and his grey shirt.

He had had to get up during the night.  Despite his promise, he’d been unable to stand being near Jack, not with the thoughts he had raging around his head.

It was obvious the immortal didn’t know Rhys’ fate during that year.  Obvious that finding out Gwen was engaged was confusing him, despite knowing the Welshwoman had had an affair, Jack still seemed to expect her to be monogamous in love.

Of course Ianto should have known that Gwen would have told Jack she loved him.  She wouldn’t know, or understand, about the Paradox machine and even if her words weren’t meant to give Jack hope, she did love him.

 _Your compassion and understanding are two of the things I love about you_.  Words reassure him just felt like barbs.  They made Ianto feel that he was just here to pass the time until Jack healed and was ready to move on.

Ianto knew he wasn’t a charming, adventurous, thrill seeker.  That didn’t mean he was a safe, reliable, gullible stay at home wife.

He didn’t remember falling asleep in his chair while he wallowed in the misery the revealed truths cause.  Ianto knew that it had to be Jack that returned him to the bed.

Ianto wasn’t really aware of making breakfast for the two of them.  Nor was he conscious that he threw two breakfasts away almost untouched.

He drove them back to the Hub and made Jack a coffee before heading to the archives.  It was his private domain, where he could legitimately hide and lick at the wounds, while his heart was ripped to shreds.

Ianto Jones was blessed and cursed with a brilliant memory.  Where the cold of the chair had let him focus on only the bad moments, the warmth of Jack behind him this morning allowed the good to resurface.

_I came back for you.... In my darkest moments it was never her face I saw, her voice that spoke to me.  It was never her I longed to smell and taste and touch._

As he worked diligently at maintaining the archives his mind replayed all the intimate moments they had shared since Jack’s return.

Not really the sex but their conversations, Jack’s concern for him the previous night, his fears about sending him into danger.  Even the harrowing story he had told Ianto of that year under the Master’s rule was replayed in his mind.

Gwen didn’t know about that.  She didn’t know what had happened to Jack after he left, didn’t know what a stupid thing she had said, or its effect on the Captain she didn’t know was fragile when he returned.

It was just gone one o’clock when Ianto surfaced from the Archives.  It was later than he normally ordered lunch but he hadn’t been hungry so he hadn’t realised the time.

He was surprised therefore to find the Hub deserted.  Usually if the others went on a mission they called him first.  They also usually took Jack with them and Ianto could see him in his office.

As though he had sensed the Welshman, the immortal came to the door as Ianto approached.  His confusion must have shown on his face for Jack said.

“They went out to lunch.  I wasn’t hungry.”

_That isn’t right.  Jack’s always hungry.  He has a soldier’s attitude to eating, do it when you can as you never know when you will get your next chance._

Again the confusion must have shown on his face because Jack just shrugged and added.  “Besides I had lots of work to do.”

Without being aware of it, Ianto accepted Jack’s invitation to step into his office.  There was something very wrong about it.

It was still cluttered with knickknacks and alien artefacts but they were all neatly ordered.  The pile of reports that had been threatening to spawn for months was now all completed, neat and ready for Ianto to collect and file.

The office was even dust free.  He could smell the lingering aroma of furniture polish.  Every surface looked gleaming, Jack had even washed up his mug.

Ianto turned and looked at Jack in shock.  It wasn’t just the office that was slightly wrong it was the man himself.

Jack stood there not making eye contact.  There was no smile or sparkle in his being.  There wasn’t even the attempt at gloss he tried when someone he cared for died, when he didn’t want anyone to know the depth of his hurt.

_I’ve done that to him.  It wasn’t my imagination.  He really does care for me for myself.  He really wants this relationship not whatever scraps Gwen has left over that she hasn’t given Rhys._

Ianto didn’t know what to do, didn’t know what to say.  Despite all his thinking about the good times earlier, he never expected this, that his memories had been reciprocated.

Jack suddenly seemed aware that Ianto was staring at him.  The instant their eyes met saw hope fill the immortal, saw some of that sparkle return.

They were silently communicating, looks, gestures trying to sort out their feelings as the alarm went off and the cogwheel door opened announcing the others return.

Neither man really noticed until Gwen’s voice rang out.

“Jack I know you said you weren’t hungry but I bought you some dou...” she was cut off by Jack closing the door in her face.

He suddenly crossed the distance between them and stood so close a breeze would make them touch.  There was uncertainty in his eyes, a little fear that Ianto couldn’t understand in the man who could have anyone.

Ianto’s confusion was the right response.  Jack bent forward and their lips brushed briefly.

Then the door opened and the immortal moved back.

“Jack,” Gwen said angrily, insulted at having a made a nice gesture and receiving a wooden rejection.

“Gwen,” Jack said suddenly beaming.  “I seem to have found my appetite again.” Jack said grabbing Ianto’s hand and dragging him past the pissed off Welshwoman.

“Tosh there’s no expected Rift activity is there?” he asked the technical genius.

“No not this afternoon,” she replied, a smile of realisation creeping over her face.

“Great I’m taking Ianto out for a late lunch.  We’ll be back in a couple of hours,” Jack replied already dragging the Welshman towards his car without allowing the others to say anything.

As Ianto got in and started up he asked.  “Where are we going?”

“The Lost Dragon Hotel,” it was their special place to Ianto didn’t question his choice until Jack marched up to the desk and got the key to Room 904, their special room.

“You were confident,” Ianto said suddenly feeling hurt and duped.

“No I wasn’t,” Jack replied honestly.  “I was certain I’d lost you.  I’ve booked in for the week because I didn’t want to be alone in the Hub at night knowing you were never going to join me again.”

“Let’s get Room Service,” Ianto said and Jack practically pulled his arm out of its socket heading for the lift.


	18. Chapter Seventeen

At the threshold of Room 904 Jack hesitated.

“I must give you the wrong impression about my intentions so easily,” he said quietly.

“I'm the one who suggested we use Room Service,” Ianto replied wondering what impression he was supposed to be getting from a man he knew as well as Jack.

“Yes but I brought you here specifically to have Make-Up Sex.”

“Jack I’m a man I love to have sex, especially with you,” Ianto answered with a reassuring smile.

“Ianto I’m a human being and I love to be touched by everything else that comes with your beautiful body, your words, you presence, I’m dead without them,” Jack confessed a little frightened.

“Me to,” Ianto answered and Jack could see those stars burning brightly in his eyes, some were still a little dim but their strength was increasing.

Jack gave him a quick kiss then dragged him into the room and sat him down on the sofa.  He gave him another kiss then went to the phone to order sandwiches with chips, strawberries and Champaign.

“It’ll be half an hour, plenty of time,” Jack informed the surprised Ianto.  As the Welshman’s eyes asked ‘Plenty of time to do what?’

Jack answered by kneeling at Ianto’s feet.  The Welshman gave a laugh more nervous than amused as the immortal removed his shoes and socks.

Then he took Ianto’s left foot and began to give it a massage.  The Welshman threw back his head and moaned happily.

Jack hadn’t lied.  When they arrived at the Hub this morning he was certain that, although he hadn’t said anything, hadn’t said a word at all, Ianto was going to leave him.

Like Toshiko, Ianto had courage in spades, yesterday he had practically taken out all those workers single handed to prove it, but confidence he sometimes lacked.  Partly it was that cute shyness of his, and partly there was the PDST of the Battle of Canary Wharf that sometimes made him feel his life was worth less than others.

As much as he hated it, his leaving had been good for Ianto.  The Welshman had found his own healing without Jack to be his Comfort Zone.

Captain Jack Harkness had sat staring at an almost perfect cup of coffee and knew his foolish words had undone all that.  He cursed himself for using what Gwen had said during the year of the Master’s reign, cursed himself for dwelling when he knew he had someone better, had someone who meant more to him.

He moved from Ianto’s left foot to his right, he let his fingers worship his soles of his lovers feet, his toes, his ankles.  The unintentional noises the Welshman produced testifying to how much they needed his care.

When he returned, Jack had told himself that he would stay in Torchwood whether Ianto accepted him back or not.  This morning he had decided to stay, even though he had proved inadequate as a boyfriend, he would keep the Welshman’s planet safe.

So he began to work though his reports.  Anything to make things easier on his overworked, underappreciated probably ex-lover. 

When they were done he began to clean his office.  He was so unhappy he didn’t even wonder if Ianto would be surprised that Jack knew where he kept his cleaning products.

His despair now proved to be premature.

Jack released Ianto’s foot and got up to stand behind the young man.  He slipped the jacket from the Welshman’s shoulder and began work on his back, ignoring the fact that the noises his lover were making made him rock hard.

While he had had the idea of bringing Ianto here to strip him naked and worship every centimetre of his body, Jack felt that this massage was far more intimate.  Every knot released in his lover brought unexpected pleasure to himself.

In many ways Ianto needed to be taken care of far more that Jack.  Not because he was weak or vulnerable but because no one ever did.

Ianto was always the one to look after others, he never asked for himself; that was what made this chaste gift greater.  Jack hoped that Lisa had known to take care of this rare and precious man when he was hers.

Back, shoulders, neck, Jack journeyed in gentle circles relaxing his lover, tending to him.  His fingers were in Ianto’s hair, pure bliss radiating from the Welshman when the knock came from Room Service.

Ianto opened his eyes and Jack felt like the most intimate embrace had been halted.  The Welshman pulled his head down and kissed him, upside down, to let him know his magic touch had worked.

Jack brought the food in and they sat side by side as they ate.  He knew Ianto would have been happy with a beer or fruit juice but the Welshman smiled as he accepted the Champaign.

This was after all a celebration.  He hadn’t blown his chances with Ianto Jones and he didn’t care if everyone knew.

Champaign also had the added bonus of making Ianto feel sleepy.  He curled into Jack after the sandwiches and chips were eaten like a cat, accepting strawberries from his lover’s fingers with playful nips.

The massage, the food, the Champaign and Jack rubbing lazy circles over his back let Ianto drift to sleep.  He knew the Welshman would curse him later, they were supposed to be on duty this afternoon, but that was something else the immortal didn’t care about while his lovers head was resting on his shoulder.

The feeling of his phone vibrating made Jack lift Ianto off of him and carry him to the bed.  He felt bizarrely romantic as he stripped the clothes from his lover and tucked him in.

A check with his wrist strap told Jack that there hadn’t been a rift alert or any other kind of alert activated by the Hub Computer.  The phone call was from Gwen so Jack felt safe to ignore it for now.

He had to get back to the Hub anyway.  He had a few things he needed to do so he wrote a note for his lover while hoping Ianto would stay asleep while he was gone.

He walked back to the Hub feeling wonderful despite still being hard.  The world was such a beautiful place, worth every heartache to keep safe.

Jack entered via the invisible lift with the largest grin on his face that he had ever worn without exceptionally brilliant sex first.  He ignored the looks they exchanged and Gwen’s fury as she headed over to meet him.

“Everything alright, no emergencies while I was gone?” Jack asked addressing Tosh and Owen.

“No no emergencies,” Owen said giving him a strange look.

“I don’t have any rift activity predicted for this afternoon,” Tosh stated guessing what he wanted to know from the absence of a hot Welshmen at his side.

“Excellent.  Finish your reports and projects and you can take the afternoon off.  In fact unless there’s an emergency have tomorrow off to,” he said heading towards his office.

“Jack,” Gwen said following him.

“Gwen, get your work done and go and spend time with your man.  Everything else can wait,” he told her firmly as he went to get a few items and shoving them in a bag while mentally ticking off what he needed to get from Ianto’s place.

The Welshwoman was still looking at him like a flummoxed fish as he passed her and headed towards Tosh.  He pulled out a note he had hastily written and handed it over to her.

“I know I promised the rest of the day off but if you could look into this for me as soon as possible and have a report for me I’d appreciate it,” Jack told her.

She opened the note and he stood anxiously wondering what he reaction would be.

 

_I need to know the perfect night for a date.  Soon please, Jack X._

 

The technical genius looked at him and smiled.  “I will work on this and have a report for you ASAP,” she told him.

He grinned at her and headed for the invisible lift.  He could see Gwen reaching for her phone but Owen went over and stilled her hands.

Now she knew where she stood with him.  Gwen Cooper was a wonderful human being, now she could be content with her brilliant man in haulage.

Jack took a cab to Ianto’s to collect some overnight things before heading back to his sleeping beauty.

 


	19. Chapter Eighteen

As Jack stepped onto the invisible lift, Toshiko and Owen exchanged knowing smiles.  Both of which they carefully schooled when Gwen turned to glance at them.

Both the medic and the technical genius had been quite pissed off by Gwen’s speech last night.  And by Jack’s reaction to it.

Toshiko thought it was quite hypocritical.  Where was Rhys staving off the cold loneliness for Gwen when she was in Owen’s bed?

It reminded her of the quiet talk they had had after the incident with Mary.  Her attempt to make Tosh feel less guilty while intentionally flaunting her own.

_This should be my wake up call.  I should stop but I won’t...  Love suited you._

Toshiko knew that she wouldn’t have fallen so easily for Mary if she hadn’t known about her co-worker’s affair.  If they hadn’t made her feel so isolated, like they were in a private gang and she wasn’t part of their fun.

When Gwen fled Tosh hadn’t seen her as her friend’s rival.  The look in Jack’s eyes reminded her of the hurt she had seen and ignored when Ianto said ‘no’ and joined Owen in opening the rift.

To Toshiko it was a betrayal of Gwen’s loyalty to Torchwood, she was questioning Jack’s command, openly defying him.  The Captain was given no choice but to acquiesce or lose her.

There had also been apology in his eyes because he had been so strict in keeping Tosh’s contact with her family to the minimum.  He hadn’t said no partners but the terms of her coming to Torchwood removed her from those she cared about most, and he was sorry for it.

Owen on the other hand hadn’t cared about the hypocritical nature of Gwen’s speech.  The self-righteousness though, that was what pissed him off.

Especially as part of Gwen didn’t really mean it.

Owen wondered if Jack had said “No.  You Retcon Rhys and come back here because you belong to Torchwood.” She would have heard ‘me’ and done the deed for a Captain’s reward.

Owen had seen the look of relief on Ianto’s face and knew it was Torchwood’s Archivist standing in the doorway, not Jack’s lover.  There was no jealousy in that face only someone glad that peace had been restored.

The Archivist obviously felt that Gwen was good for them, well she did have her moments, but Owen felt Ianto should have been as put out as the rest of them not agreeing with the Welshwoman.

While Owen had known that Ianto had gone out people watching, it only made him feel more pissed off at Jack.  As Gwen had just pointed out, the point of having a relationship was that your partner stopped the loneliness, not strangers doing boring things in the fresh air.

That mean he knew exactly what he was doing when he provoked Jack.  He and Ianto might not get on, but while Jack was away he had begun to feel protective of the Welshman.

Owen wasn’t a fool to think of his protective streak as anything other than a guilt reaction.  His jibes when Ianto was trying to stop him from opening the Rift the first time had torn deeper than expected.

There had been no malice in Ianto when he shot him, well not much, mostly he had been the dutiful employee.  The next day Owen’s words had opened wounds that led the Welshman into joining them in opening the rift.

When Jack was gone Owen began to realise how unalike he and the Archivist were.

Owen reacted to his heartache and grief by lashing out, trying to find meaning while venting his frustration.  Being forgiven by Jack released something in him, he found a new calm.

Alternatively Ianto turned inwards.  The already hard working man began to work harder.  His duty to Torchwood was all Jack had left him, and he was determined to continue that duty until it killed him.

It meant Ianto didn’t react as Gwen lashed out at him like a wife whose husband had not only left her for another, but who had also left a heartbroken, pregnant secretary behind him.

They had sorted all that out of course, but that didn’t stop Owen keeping an eye on the Welshman just the same.  It also meant the medic thought Ianto was a fool for taking Jack back.

However, while the Welshman was never the most open with his feelings, since Jack had been back, he seemed more serene and happier, if the increase in whit and the rejection of a perfectly good orgy was any indication.

It had always narked Owen that, towards the end of their relationship, Gwen had begun to moon over Jack when she had both him and Rhys already.  Last night to see Jack mooning over Gwen when he had Ianto, made him spiteful.

Ianto wasn’t to his taste and he was sure the Welshman could do better but he didn’t think Jack could.  Until the Archivist had come along, the immortal hadn’t had a relationship that lasted longer than a night.

This morning though, Owen knew that despite his provocation to get Jack to do the right thing, the Captain had ballsed it up.  Watching him quietly do his paperwork was a clear enough sign, without him getting out the furniture polish and banning them from going to the archives to disturb Ianto so they could get their coffee fix.

Neither Owen nor Toshiko had been surprised when Gwen’s suggestion that they all go out to lunch was met with a flat refusal.  Gwen also seemed blind to the fact that her concern was making Jack more bearlike.

They had persuaded the ex-PC to come out to lunch without the Captain and the Archivist.  It made for a very tedious lunch, as all Gwen did was talk as though Jack was in a snit because she had persuaded him to let Rhys keep his memory.

It had taken Tosh and Owen a great deal of effort not to laugh when Jack shut the door in Gwen’s face when she returned bearing reconciliation donuts.  They had both been trying to think of ways to get them back together and they had figured it out on their own.

Gwen was livid when Jack swanned off dragging Ianto away for a late, long lunch.  It had taken all their skill to stop her phoning them up earlier.

Toshiko just felt very pleased for Ianto, glad that Jack was showing signs of proper commitment.  Owen was probably more pleased to see Gwen’s nose out of joint than seeing that Jack was finally being less of a bastard to the Welshman.

“I can’t believe he’s being so rude.  He agreed.  I don’t know what’s gotten into him,” Gwen said frustrated as Jack departed and reaching for her phone to call him and demand an explanation.

“Very soon I suspect the answer to that might be Ianto,” Owen replied unable to help himself as he stepped up to her, took the phone and prevented her from ruining the boss and the coffee boy’s evening.


	20. Chapter Nineteen

Ianto Jones was woken by the cool drip on oil on his skin followed by the warm press of hands upon his back.  He groaned with pleasure and realisation as it dawned on him that Jack had intentionally let him fall asleep and was now intent on giving him a more thorough massage.

Jack worked his way down already relaxed back, neck and shoulders, over his arse to massage his legs and up to his arms.  There was a strange look in the immortal’s eyes as he was turned over and his front was massaged.

Arms, legs, face, torso and finally cock were massaged into a state of absolute relaxation.  Ianto Jones felt like he was the luckiest being in existence and Jack deserved his reputation as the most wonderful lover of all time.

It never occurred to Ianto that he wasn’t lucky, he was unique.

They say that every love is different because every lover is different.  None before or after ever received Ianto Jones’ experiences with Jack Harnkess, though all those after benefited from the existence Ianto’s love in Jack’s heart.

The immortal was naked, hard and beautiful as the bliss of aftershock’s faded.  If Ianto had not been so shy, so cautious, he would have recognised the light in Jack’s eyes as easily as his lover recognised the Welshman’s own starry sky.

“You missed a spot,” Ianto said smiling.

“I did?” Jack asked panicked that there was a millimetre unattended to.

“Yes,” the Welshman said turning onto his stomach again.  “It’s down there.”  Jack looked puzzled but Ianto directed his fingers until the brushed his entrance.

“I have this tense spot that needs your attention in there but I’m not sure your fingers are the right size.

Jack chuckled and kissed the small of Ianto’s back.  “Well we will have to see what we can do about that.”

Slowly Jack pushed a finger inside Ianto.  The Welshman sighed softly as it grazed his prostate, trying to conceal the obvious lie he had told.

The immortal kept placing kisses over Ianto’s back as he opened up his lover.  Jack moved his fingers as though he was giving the tight channel a massage, slowly and tenderly until the Welshman began to harden again.

When Jack pushed inside, Ianto arched his back to meet his lover’s warmth.  A loving hand reached beneath them to renew the massage on the Welshman’s cock.

Jack set a surprisingly slow pace, relaxed yet agonisingly pleasurable.  Soon though Ianto’s moans did their work and the immortal increased his pace.

They came together and while Ianto was lost in his second climax, Jack pulled him back so that they were resting on their sides, the Welshman’s back flush with the immortal’s chest.

Ianto became aware that Jack was still inside him as he leaned back to kiss the immortal.  Arms held him close as he felt dizzy with joy.

“I can’t help noticing that I had a nap after lunch and that its still daylight outside,” Ianto said bringing up his only concern.

“I told everyone that when they finished their reports they could have the afternoon and tomorrow off, baring emergencies,” Jack replied.

“I’m sure everyone will enjoy that,” the Welshman stated happily.

“You would think so, but Gwen seemed strangely pissed off.  Still can’t please everyone,” Jack said dismissively.

“Owen’s drugs and the novelty of Rhys being a hero have probably worn off,” Ianto suggested.

“Maybe and you?  You’re not angry that I have you in a hotel bed instead of slaving away in my archives?” Jack asked concerned.

“I don’t know when I last felt this relaxed,” _this wanted,_ Ianto replied rubbing his back against the immortal.  A kiss told him this was the right answer.

They stayed there, comfortable in each other’s arms, exchanging the occasional touch and kiss until Ianto realised Jack was hardening again.  That surprised him a little as, beyond their positions, they were hardly making any sexual moves.

When Ianto looked at Jack there was a touch of worry in his eyes.  The immortal knew he was enjoying their closeness and felt like he was spoiling it.

Ianto reached up to kiss him and directed the immortal’s hand to his still soft cock.  Jack knew his reaction, though unexpected, was approved off and they made love again.

They rested entwined until in the following afterglow, their stomachs growled to demand attention.  With equal reluctance Jack slipped free and they headed to the bathroom.

Their shower was chaste, both men concentrating on the other’s eyes as much as covering themselves in foam.  They felt the same mix of wonder, joy and excitement that they had felt in the very beginning of their special friendship.

It lasted through dinner and as they made love again that night.  Though never man openly acknowledged it, that night as they fell asleep their hearts were as entwined as their bodies.

 

 


	21. Chapter Twenty

The next morning Captain Jack Harkness woke up knowing he was a new person.  As an ex-Time Agent, conman, companion of the Doctor and Torchwood Operative Jack had worn many names and personalities, this morning’s one was new.

This morning he was just Jack.  He didn’t care if there was an alien invasion fleet hovering over the Senedd.  The only thing important to him was the young man beside him.

Jack was enjoying Ianto’s weight and his warmth upon him.  He felt relaxed and comforted by the Welshman’s breathing and smell.

This morning the beautiful sight beside him didn’t arouse him as it usually did.  Instead he felt something completely new, to go with his new personality, and he was so completely caught up in feeling this way he didn’t bother to examine how he felt more closely.

Ironically Ianto Jones wouldn’t notice any difference in Jack.  Not because the immortal was no different than before, but because he was a man Ianto already knew.

Today, Jack woke up as the man Ianto had been falling in love with before he left, the man who won Ianto’s heart back, both when he returned and last night.  He had resisted being this man but it is always very hard to resist being yourself.

Jack was still too shy of love to believe that was the reason for the change.  As though not acknowledging his heart would make the pain less later.

He thought the change was the result of his foolish confession.

That year under the Master’s reign had haunted him since his return.  Telling Ianto some of it lessened the grip but not loosed it.

Jack was sure that there would still be repercussions later; he was experienced enough with trauma to know that didn’t go away overnight, but this morning its shadow no longer made him feel cold inside.

This morning Gwen Cooper’s declaration of love in the year that never was had no hold on him.  It had become the pleasant words of a friend trying to give hope and comfort in his darkest hours.

While they were words that would always mean a great deal to him, he no longer felt obligated to them.  She was just his colleague and a friend with a good arse but not the best.

The best arse was stirring awake beside Jack.  His sleepy eyes had a beautiful glow.  His gorgeous smile just had to be kissed.

Neither man felt any desire to get up and move.  They were just enjoying the sight and feel of each other.

Gentle touches were designed to produce smiles rather than sighs.  While arousal was inevitable, it wasn’t in control of them that morning.

Jack pulled Ianto onto him so that his body was covered in fabulous naked Welshman.  They moved slowly, almost lazily, both feeling that prolonged contact was more important than coital bliss.

Which was why when they finally climaxed, they stayed as they were for a long time.  Inevitably though Ianto felt the need to be clean and Jack couldn’t stop himself from following.

They dressed and went out for a drive.  Cardiff was more beautiful that day than it had been in over a hundred years, even if it was pouring with rain.

They went to a pub for lunch and drove back to the hotel.  They watched TV and Ianto dozed before getting ready for dinner.

Jack had been torn over dinner.  While he had Ianto curled beside him part of him wanted to selfishly keep the Welshman with him always, he wanted them to be alone together with no one else.

Yet the other part of him wanted to take Ianto out.  Wanted his lover to see how beautiful he was making the world, and wanted everyone to know what a luck man Jack was to have him.  The latter was the part that won, the part that made their love making that night brilliant.

The next day they returned to work, both wearing smiles nothing could shift.  Gwen still seemed put out, but Jack was so happy that it was infectious and she stopped being mad at him.

They returned to the Hotel after work for dinner, sex and sleep.  The latter was cut short and they had to head back to the Hub at three in the morning.

Emergencies and work piled on that day, and by the end Ianto was so exhausted he didn’t think he would be great company that night.  Jack didn’t care, in fact, though he would never confess it, that night was his second favourite after the night Ianto forgave him.

He ordered room service and while Ianto was finishing his meal, he ran the Welshman a bath.  Jack watched Ianto relax in the water for ten minutes before succumbing to the urge to wash him.

Gentle, cleansing strokes with just the right about to stimulation.  Towards the end he was leaning over the bath with one hand attending to Ianto’s cock and the other to his own.

“Jack,” Ianto whispered breathlessly as he came and slipped into unconsciousness.

The immortal made sure his lover was safe and finished himself off.  Then he cleaned them both up and then took some towels into the bedroom.

Jack carried Ianto to the bed and dried him off.  He swiftly stripped and joined him feeling a pleasure that wasn’t sexual.

The next morning Ianto showed Jack how much he appreciated last night and the whole week.  Three blissful orgasms had the immortal wanting to tie the Welshman to the bed and never letting him leave.

The perfect five days came to an inevitable end.  A deep sadness overcame Jack as he checked out, knowing that tonight Ianto would be going home.

He didn’t let Ianto know how unhappy he was.  In fact he couldn’t as the very sight of the Welshman made him smile and feel light headed.

Yet when the others had gone there was no hiding it.  Ianto came to him with a final cup of coffee his eyes mirrored Jack’s own reluctance.

“I’ve finished for the day,” the young man said looking carefully at him.

“I still have a little bit to do, not much,” Jack said not really sure where this conversation was going but he wanted to continue it, wanted to make it last as long as possible.

“Good,” Ianto said and leaned down to give him a searing kiss.

Jack felt lost for a moment as those lips and their owner moved away from him.  It took him a moment to see that Ianto had only gone as far as his quarters.

“Then I won’t be naked and alone for very long,” Ianto said as he began to climb down.

Jack finished his work quickly as he realised the new him wasn’t ready to leave him yet.

 


	22. Chapter Twenty-one

Ianto Jones was feeling excited.  Tonight was a night he had waited for, for months.  It was a night he never thought he would have.

He had hurried home barely able to keep within the speed limit.  He had rushed straight to his room and chosen an outfit before diving into the shower.

When he came out he changed his mind about what to wear.  Not with the suit, the suit Jack had bought him when he returned from his travels with the Doctor, but the shirt and tie.  He changed his mind about, three times, before reselecting his original choice.

Tonight Ianto Jones was going out on a date with Captain Jack Harkness.

There had been a real change in Jack since the incident with the Space Whale, since what he thought would be the worst day of his life turned into the best week of his existence.

Jack had been so tender, so attentive.  He wasn’t a man who needed to make that kind of effort unless he really wanted to, unless he really wanted Ianto.

The morning after they made up still didn’t seem real to him.  Lying with Jack beneath him, knowing that it was all about being with him, that the sex was secondary.

There was always a magic about the time they spent at the Lost Dragon Hotel.  They hadn’t been there since Jack’s return, their neutral ground where they could get away from everything, even themselves sometimes.

Of course he knew that specialness wouldn’t last.  They couldn’t stay together like that in the Hotel forever, there was a real world beyond room 904, but being there helped them face it.

Boy did they face it.  A week of total Rift related chaos and then Jack’s annual leave turned into a Torchwood case involving Bilis Manger.

The whole time Jack kept mentioning the fact that he owed Ianto a date.  The fact that they were having fantastic sex already made the whole performance quite amusing.

The last thing he expected yesterday was for Jack to ask him, to say that he had made arrangements to eat at one of the best Chinese restaurants in the city and would be thrilled if Ianto accompanied him.  This afternoon Jack had chased him out the door first, with six things still unfinished, so that he could get ready in time.

Ianto looked at himself and wondered if the shirt was the right choice after all as the doorbell rang.  Jack stood there wearing his best outfit, a 1940’s RAF uniform but without the jacket, which would have been too conspicuous, and no tie.

His hair, which always looked great, looked like an effort had been made to make it look better.  There were nerves in his smile which made Ianto’s own feel a little calmer.

Jack escorted him to the SUV and opened the door for him.  Ianto barely remembered the drive to the restaurant before they were stopping and the immortal was dashing out to open the door for him again.

Ianto wasn’t really sure what he fancied eating.  It didn’t seem to matter that they had eaten together many times before, tonight felt different, special, and he just suggested his favourite dishes because he couldn’t make any decisions about what he wanted.

Jack seemed to feel the same way because he ordered all of them and probably all of his own favourites, enough for five people, with huge appetites.  It was a good thing they both liked leftovers because they would have enough for several days.

Jack began to tell one of his stories.  Ianto knew that that too was a nervous reflex.

It was an amazing adventure, beautiful buildings and strange people on an exotic world.  Ianto wondered why Jack had chosen to give all that up for plain old Cardiff when he knew the Doctor could have shown him the universe.

Ianto suddenly realised that Jack wasn’t saying anything and hadn’t for a while.  He looked at the man he was with and realised the answer was him.

He was the reason Jack had given up the stars, sure the immortal had told him about the experiences during the year that never was, gave him reason to stay, but the reality hadn’t quite hit Ianto until that moment, _he gave up the stars for me, I hope I am worthy of them._

 “Ianto,” Jack said hesitantly as if staring at Ianto had made an idea come to him.

“Yes Jack?”

“Don’t think I’m not enjoying myself because I am, I really am,” the immortal said in earnest and the Welshman smiled.  “But I can’t see how tonight is different from all the other meals we’ve eat together.”

Ianto had already thought about this on the morning he was asked and was prepared for the question.  Jack may blend fairly well into the Twenty-first Century but there were nuances he still didn’t get.

The fact that their relationship was never a normal Twenty-first Century one probably didn’t help.  Usually you have the date as a prelude to months of sleeping together and great sex not as almost an afterthought.

Ianto lowered his eyes to the table and an idea suddenly came to him.  He selected a pork ball, Jack’s favourite, with his chopsticks and brought it to his lover’s mouth.

Jack accepted the meat with a surprised look on his face.  The intimate gesture was unusual for him and he knew it but tonight, this very act of being on a date, Ianto felt deepened their relationship, made him feel bold enough to say what he felt.

 “You’re doing fine,” Ianto reassured Jack as he chewed.  “Okay as first dates go it’s a little overdue and we both know each other very well but that’s not what’s important.

“You asked me to be here tonight.  No Torchwood, no mission, just you and me spending time alone away from everything.

“It makes me feel special,” Ianto said smiling.

“But all I’ve done is talk about me, what about you?” Jack asked a note of panic in his voice as if concerned he had done something wrong.

 “I like listening to your stories.  Besides you’ve read my file that’s basically it.  I’m quite ordinary and not very interesting,” Ianto replied sincerely.

Ianto was a little surprised when Jack picked up a piece of lemon chicken, Ianto’s favourite, and brought it to his lips.  The intimate gesture was as new for the immortal as it had been for him.

The Welshman smiled shyly as he accepted.  Never in the last few years did he imagine that he would be on a date being fed Chinese food by the legendary Captain Jack Harkness.

“Ianto Jones someone as amazing as you can only ever be extraordinary,” the immortal told him and the Welshman blushed with pleasure.

That week in the Hotel, this date meant that and for the first time in his life Ianto believed it.  Tonight he was extraordinary because Jack believed him to be.

In that moment Ianto knew that he loved Jack Harkness deeper and truer than he ever had before.  He knew it was never going to be an easy love but there was no going back now, not ever.

In the familiar silence Ianto was sure that he was just beaming out with love, that the whole world could feel it radiating from him.  Tonight, with Jack looking at him, feeding him, being with him, Ianto Jones didn’t care, as long as one of those able to see how he felt was the immortal himself.

Neither man had a particularly huge appetite that night and they had to ask for most of the food to be taken back in a doggy bag.  That didn’t stop them ordering sorbets, Ianto felt the need for something cool to contain himself a little.

He invited Jack in for coffee as an excuse to manoeuvre him towards the bedroom.  He normally wouldn’t need to resort to such tactics, but he had a suspicion that Jack wanted to be a gentleman about tonight, and Ianto wanted to tell him with his body just how he felt.

Ianto made love to Jack until he had no energy left.  As he snuggled close to the immortal he felt those powerful arms wrap protectively around him.

 _My heart is yours Captain Jack Harkness_ , he thought, hoping but not daring to ask even with his thoughts that his lover would look after his gift.

 

 

 


	23. Epilogue

Captain Jack Harkness watched the new Mr and Mrs Rhys Williams dancing and reflected on his day.  It had been crazy and mad, unnecessarily so, but seeing the bride and groom dancing made it all worth it.

Gwen’s urgency to get married had only partially been hormones.  The other part, Jack knew, was her lingering desire for him, the fear that if she hesitated she would make a choice she would regret.

Jack had hoped that after Rhys found out about Torchwood, after her passionate speech about how important he was to her, that she would let go of this foolish crush.  Oh there were moments still, like when he had given her tickets to Paris and told her to have fun with her man, when she still looked at him like she wanted him, but since he resurrected Owen that too had faded.

Until today.  Until the moment when he told them to halt the wedding, part of her wanted it to be because he wanted her, which lead to anger when she realised it was just Torchwood business.

It had also been there as he said ‘the hero always got the girl’.  Her face said it clearly that part of her hoped the hero was him, not that wonderful sexy chainsaw wielding hunk who had protected her and destroyed the Nostrovite egg.

He thought that she understood his own feelings.  Gwen had made her choice, but not before Jack had made his.

It surprised Jack a little when he asked Gwen to dance that Rhys displayed none of the jealousy or animosity that he had earlier.  Perhaps even if the girl hadn’t got the message the sexy chainsaw wielding hunk had.

“Enjoy the honeymoon,” Jack said still not sure how to phrase what he needed to say to her.

“I will,” she replied then asked.  “What will you do while I’m away?”

It was not the best opening but it was an opening of sorts.

“Oh the usual, Pizza, Ianto,” she laughed and he joined her so as not to hurt her feelings.  “Save the world a couple of times.”

“Will you miss me?” she asked.

“Always,” he replied, after all she was his friend and he would miss her telling him off, but he could see in her eyes that wasn’t quiet how she saw it.

“Rhys is a lucky man, a perfect husband.  He’s loyal, brave.  He’s got a hell of a swing on him,” he added with a chuckle but she didn’t join in this time, this wasn’t what she expected, what she hoped to hear.

“And best of all he really loves you,” _and I don’t,_ the immortal added silently.

“I know,” she said, her voice slightly wistful as she accepted that her husband was the man for her, not her fantasy hero.

They turned a few more times, lost in thoughts of what might have been but were both inwardly glad never happened.  The deliberately cleared throat brought them back and they realised that Ianto was there asking for a dance.

“Yes,” Gwen said and raised her hands to take hold of the Welshman, then dropped them with a giggle as she realised that Ianto’s object was Jack.

Jack saw an expectant, hesitating look in Ianto’s eye as he stepped towards his boyfriend.  It exasperated him slightly that the Welshman still thought he might be rejected, after a cute deliberate act of jealousy in cutting in and snubbing the bride.

He looked across to Gwen and saw that she had rejoined her husband.  She laughed and he knew that everything was going to be alright with them.

Jack turned away and leaned into the man in his arms and let himself be caught in the gentle sway.  The world faded and the two of them was all there was.

As the music stopped Ianto pulled away, withdrew from Jack’s hand about to draw him into a kiss.

“Thank you for the dance,” the Welshman said quietly and returned to the DJ station.  He put on a new track then recruited someone to take over.

Jack returned to a table and watched as Ianto removed his jacket.  The immortal’s eyes followed him as he moved stealthily around the room handing out drinks that were no doubt laced with Retcon.

He felt a sudden pang, had Ianto asked to dance with him because he knew that no one except the team and Rhys would remember in the morning?  If so why didn’t he want a kiss?

The answer came easily enough, after all that was why he had asked Gwen to dance in the first place.  He remembered his words in the SUV driven by impatience and frustration to save Gwen, he remembered Ianto snapped rebuke.

For a moment he wondered if they would always play this game, he would do something stupid and then have to make it up to Ianto.  Yet even as he wondered he knew the answer was no.

The Welshman wasn’t going to wait on him.  In one moment of Alpha maleness, with one dance, Ianto had declared Jack to be his and warned Gwen off his territory in such a subtle way it turned the immortal on.

Now he was Torchwood’s Archivist again, quietly dealing with all the guests so that no one would remember the Wedding from Hell.  None of the others could move like that, could hand out Retconned drinks without raising suspicions.

So Jack watched his lover as he worked his magic, returned to reclaim his jacket and get drinks for the team who were beginning to gather around him.  He gave the groom a drink and received the only thank you.

Jack needed to talk to him, needed to apologise but it had to wait.  They had to finish Torchwood work and as Ianto worked harder than all of them, he was almost exhausted by the time they got into the SUV to return home.

Jack pulled up in front of Ianto’s building and looked at him reluctantly.  Toshiko and the Welshman had given him a list of things that still needed doing and he volunteered to spare them.

“You know I can’t stay tonight, lots to sort out,” the immortal said apologetically.

Jack hardly ever stayed the night since Owen died.  He would leave when Ianto was asleep to return to the Hub to work, though he always tried to get back to his lover before he woke in the morning.

It wasn’t that his feelings for the Welshman lessened.  It was just that Jack felt as though, in his happiness, he had let his guard down and Owen had been killed as a result

“I know,” Ianto replied understanding as always, Jack knew that if he hadn’t been so insistent the Archivist would be joining him as he worked through the night.  “Goodnight,” he added getting out to the car.

The Welshman got as far as the front door before Jack jumped out of the SUV and ran up the path to him.

“I could stay for a coffee,” he said hopefully not ready to leave him.

The Welshman smiled and took the key out of his pocket and turned to the door.  Behind them one of the SUV’s back windows opened.

“Oh Harkness we’re not going to wait for you while you get laid,” Owen called but the immortal was too busy following his lover inside to notice.

He shrugged off his greatcoat and followed Ianto into the kitchen.  The Welshman was brewing, thinking things over.

Jack got the thermos from where Ianto kept it just as the coffee was ready.  He set it down in front of the Welshman and used a button on his wrist strap to turn on some music.

“I changed my mind, would you care to dance?” he asked.

Ianto prepared the coffee in the thermos before taking the immortal’s hand.  They returned to the lounge and began to sway slowly together.

“I thought you had lots to do tonight?” Ianto asked slightly coldly.

“You do know you don’t have to worry about her?” Jack said and felt Ianto stiffen slightly but say nothing.

“It’s been evident to me all day that she still has feelings for me.  You’d think between Jasmine and resurrecting Owen she’d be quite put off me by now.”

“Well you are very dashing.  Who could resist?” Ianto said quietly.

“The person who means the most to me.  He sees past the dashing bit, sees the real me, darkness and all, and he accepts me, even though I’m occasionally an idiot who tries his patience.

“For that I’m sorry Ianto.  I’m sorry that I react and don’t always think,” Jack said softly.

“That’s a good thing sometimes, when you’re in a danger situation,” Ianto said gently.

“But not when my damn instinct starts to betray you.  You are my choice Ianto Jones, I don’t want another and tonight, between us I think we told Gwen that,” Jack said pulling back from the dance to look at the Welshman’s face.

For a moment Ianto searched his eyes, looked at the sincerity aching out of him.  Then whose lips were on his, he was getting the kiss he had wanted since the dance floor and more.

They were in the bedroom within moments.  Jack let Ianto take control, let his lover mark him and claim him and the immortal submitted to it all willingly, wanting the Welshman to have everything.

He stayed until Ianto was asleep then slipped from his bed and hurriedly got dressed.  When he stepped outside he could see that the SUV was gone, taken by Owen and Tosh, so he began to walk back to the Hub.

That was getting harder, leaving Ianto for a few hours.  The nights where the Welshman didn’t stay and he didn’t go home with him were the emptiest of all.

Jack had a long list of lovers and there had been very few he had felt this way for.  It startled him to realise that the last person had been Lucia.

Gwen reminded him a lot of her.  That was why he had always known that Rhys was a better man for her than he was.

When he married, Jack had given up on waiting for the Doctor.  He had been in love completely and he had wanted to give her everything.

He was remembering the good times with his wife as he arrived at the Hub and found confetti in his pocket as he unlocked the Tourist Information Office.  The happiness of those memories added to the joy of the day and Jack couldn’t resist throwing it up over himself as he entered through the Cogwheel door.

He went to the box where he had a photo of him and his wife.  He pulled it out re-remembering the day it was taken, she looked so beautiful, and the good years they spent together.

Too soon the memories soured.  She left him and took Melissa, took Alice with her.  She broke his heart, a wound that deepened as Alice tried not to have contact with him, chose to keep him out of Stephen’s life.

Jack pushed those memories and thoughts aside and put the photo back in the box.  He didn’t want thoughts of his late wife and estranged daughter to spoil the happiness of the day and night.

Then he remembered.

Jack went over to his computer and logged in.  He knew Tosh would have downloaded all the digital photos to the Hub before editing them for the wedding guests.

It had been a chance moment.  He had been stood next to Ianto and there had been someone telling a joke.  Jack remembered the sound of a camera and he knew someone had taken his picture.

He automatically reached for a coffee and remembered he’d left the thermos Ianto prepared on the Welshman’s kitchen worktop.   The immortal groaned at his own daftness and settled down to look through the pictures.

Jack had nearly reached the end when he found it.  Him and Ianto standing side by side smiling with laughter.

He got the computer to print a photograph off for him.  He waved it to make sure it was dry then stared at it, gazed at the man who made him feel happy and secure for the first time since his wife left him.

Then with reluctance Jack put it in the box with all his other precious photos and went back to work but his thoughts lingered with his special Welshman.

 

Fin.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that you enjoyed this story.  
> There are two one-shots next in the Company Series and for those following the Awakening series in chronological order, The Object: Second Threat comes after those one shots.


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